


Story of an Author

by RenegadeWarrior



Category: Katekyou Hitman Reborn!
Genre: AU, F/M, M/M, Mild TWEWY Crossover, Multiple Reborns, overprotective Guardians
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-07-01
Updated: 2014-07-01
Packaged: 2018-02-06 23:57:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 25,126
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1877340
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RenegadeWarrior/pseuds/RenegadeWarrior
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU Tsuna isn't quite sure why his new neighbors keep bugging him. He's not a babysitter, he's not a mother, he's not a tutor and he's definitely not looking for a husband. He's an author and he has a deadline to meet dammit! R27, slight All27 and more.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The House of Sleeping Beasts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> While browsing through tumblr, I saw a cute picture of Tsuna with four Reborns. Adult Reborn, Teenage Reborn, Child Reborn, and Arcobaleno Baby Reborn. Then I wanted to make an R27 fic and this was born.

A young woman, smartly dressed with her dark hair tied back into a professional bun, sighed as she unlocked and stepped into the simple two story house.  She considered calling out a greeting, but discarded that thought as she knew that more likely than not she wouldn’t be getting a reply back.

It was just like most of the houses in Namimori, with three bedrooms, two bathrooms, a kitchen, and all the other rooms that a small family might need. 

Only one person actually lived in this four person home, but the owner had a constant stream of visitors nearly every day, so it wasn’t unusual for the other rooms to be occupied.  In fact, several pairs of shoes of all different shapes and sizes were littering the front hall.  Kurokawa Hana added hers to the side neatly. 

Bypassing the kitchen, especially cluttered and dirty for a room that probably hadn’t been stepped into by the resident owner for two weeks now, and the living room, she didn’t even pause at the sight of a long lean body stretched out on an even longer-obviously custom ordered-couch.  A blanket carefully tucked around it.  So Yamamoto Takeshi was here. 

A slightly shorter, but no less smaller, form was snoring away on the smaller couch across from the first one.  The blanket on this one was crumpled and half lying on the ground and the figure in question was just a few inches shy of falling off himself.  Of course her boyfriend, Sasagawa Ryohei, was there as well.  Odds were, if he didn’t make it home for night, he would be here.

Upstairs, the master bedroom was cracked open.  Two more figures could be seen sleeping back to back on top of the covers.  Another blanket had been tossed over them.  Rokudo Mukuro and his stepsister Dokuro Chrome.  No surprise there either.  These two in particular tended to be semi-permanent residents of the house even though they had their own place back in Kokuyo.

She did raise a brow at the closed guest room door though.  A purple wooden door hanger hung off the silver knob.  On it was a yellow bird with a speech bubble that said ‘Do not Disturb’ in large letters.  So Hibari Kyoya was here?  That bolded well.  Usually that person wouldn’t stay under the same roof as Rokudo Mukuro, but if something-or _someone_ \- needed them to cooperate, they’d put aside their rivalry and work together for a while.  Somewhat.  Well, only one person could make them tolerate each other long enough to do anything really. 

The final door was also closed, but Hana pushed it open only to find that the person who should have been occupying the only bed wasn’t.  Instead Gokudera Hayato and Bovino Lambo were sprawled on top of it and each other.  Tsuna’s self-proclaimed right-hand man and adoptive sibling respectively.  Their blanket and pillows had been completely kicked off onto the floor. 

Her eye twitched.  Where the hell was Sawada Tsunayoshi? The guy who actually owned the place and was supposedly the only one who lived here.

Now she had to hunt down the elusive brunet.  This was not what Hana had wanted to spend her morning-and possibly the rest of her day, or worst case scenario, week-doing.


	2. Searching for Tsuna

Hana was pretty sure that Tsuna was still alive. It was the reason all these volatile people were gathered here under one roof after all.  They would ensure that he stayed alive even if they had to tie him down and force feed him.  But she hadn’t heard a peep from anyone in this house in three days.  Not even Ryohei had responded to her or Kyoko for more than a few minutes in that entire time and it was only through the phone.

Tsuna should have crashed as soon as his manic muse had worn off and he wouldn’t be of any use to anyone for a few days, but she needed to make sure that he had the latest chapters ready for her.  They were already behind by nearly two months, but if he couldn’t think of anything, then no one could make him to write anything that he didn’t want to.  God forbid anyone try to force a mediocre story out of Sawada though.  That was just asking for trouble.

Where could Sawada be?  Some place ridiculous possibly.  He tended to end up in odd places after leaving-what everyone exasperatedly called- his Dying Will mode.  Sometimes, he was curled up on top of his washing and drying machines or behind a couch or-if he was outside-in a tree or flowerbed.  Every once in a while he would wake up on his roof in his boxers and Yamamoto and Gokudera would have to go up and bring him down along with the writing utensils stored in the gutter and…

Dear god.  The chapter she had been after him for one time had been finger-painted out on his roof shingles in glow-in-the-dark paint.  Another time he had written out an entire story in chalk on an entire sidewalk block.  Mukuro and Chrome had obviously joined in based on the elaborate chalk drawings that accompanied it. The entire section had to be cordoned off and pictures were taken before it was erased by the elements outside. 

No need to waste it as any story Tsuna wrote came out to be a wonderful story.  They had made a great deal of money by making it into a book with the pictures in place of text.  Unfortunately, it had also started a ‘chalk story’ phase and Hibari was spitting mad about the consequent defacement of his precious Namimori.

Even drunk or high people would be hard pressed to match the actions of a Dying Will Tsuna.

Well…it should be fine.  If everyone was here like this, they would keep him supplied with paper and pens-for some reason he never typed anything in Dying Will mode-so that he hopefully wouldn’t resort to ‘other’ mediums.

She decided to try his room first.  In his closet.  Under his bed.  In the bathrooms.  The laundry room, the living room, the kitchen pantry, behind the couches, under Mukuro and Chrome’s bed, outside in the gardens, the rooftops, the tree tops…at least there weren’t any signs of writing on the walls or floors.

The only room left was that closed-and most likely locked-door that even she wasn’t stupid enough to knock on.  But dammit.  She needed those chapters and she needed them last month! 

No one had even twitched at the sounds of her search and she had no idea when they would wake up as it was clear that everyone was exhausted and dead to the world.  Well, hopefully Hibari would be too.  He had no qualms about hitting a woman, but he held some respect for her and would most likely not do anything to her if she was quiet and quick about it. 

Just as Hana was about to knock, the door swung open and a bleary eyed Hibari stood before her in a rumpled black yukata.  He continued to stare blankly for a few moments and she quickly moved out of the way.  The dark haired man-teen really- yawned and shuffled to the bathroom without a word leaving the bedroom door open.

That was as good as an actual spoken invitation and she quickly made her way in.  Well, Sawada wasn’t under Hibari’s bed either, but the only other place in the house that he could be was this closet. If he wasn’t, she’d have to wake everyone up to do a neighborhood-possibly city-wide search.  The most recent heart stopping incident was still fresh on her mind.  Tsuna had been sleeping on the biggest rock in the lion pen of the local zoo.  How or why he ended up there no one knew, but lazily sunning themselves around him were the lions who apparently decided that they liked the young naked man-that had suddenly appeared in their midst in the middle of the night-enough to not bother him.  Sadly, no one else was quite so understanding or accepting of that situation.

Then there was the time he had ended up at a park under a huge sakura tree, wearing a flowery pink kimono with sticks, stones, and sakura petals artfully arranged on the grass before him to make a story in poem form.  That was heart-stopping for an entirely different reason.

Ever the business woman, she had had high quality pictures printed and sold them to the man’s family and friends.  Even now, she was sure that each person in this household still had more than a few copies floating around somewhere in a private place.  Hibari had ended up ordering the most.  Her discretion, refusal to be cowed, and no nonsense manner of dealing with the transactions had given her some form of respect from the temperamental teen.  It was probably why he generally left her alone anyways.

Well, it was now or never.  With a sense of trepidation, Hana slid open the closet door.

Stacks of notebooks, paper pads and folders were neatly arranged and labeled before her in plastic boxes.  Sheets of loose leaf sorted and bound together and no sign of paper towels or other such materials in sight.  To the side, several flash drives with numbers on them sat on a stack of paper-clipped printer paper.  On it were the names of the various stories on each one next to a corresponding number. 

So Tsuna had gone from ‘Dying Will’ mode to ‘Hyper Dying Will’.  Shame that he couldn’t just stay in HDW mode, but whatever.  Whenever he managed to reach that stage, things ran smoothly for almost everyone and work was completed quickly and efficiently. A shame that he had to go through that aggravating Dying Will mode first to reach it. 

Hana carefully placed the flash drives in her pocket and skimmed over the first sheet.  **Kurokawa Hana** was printed out in bold letters at the top.  Under it was Flames of Resolution: Lightning Strike with a bulleted list.  Chapters 5 to 27 and a large bold ***COMPLETE*** at the bottom.

She couldn’t help but quirk her lips at that.  Despite the problems Tsuna’s special _episodes_ tended to cause, no one could deny their usefulness at times.  The time expected for this book’s completion was at least another eight months.  Now she had an entire book to check over and edit, but this still freed up a substantial amount of time for her to do other things. 

The others in her company may have pitied her for having to deal with the insanity and trouble that came from associating with the brunet, but the results couldn’t be denied. Not to mention the fact that she got first dibs to his work seeing as she was one of his self-appointed editors.  The others being Kyoko and Haru to a degree.

For now though, she had to find said brunet.  There was only one place left in the house.  Crouching down, the woman sighed in exasperation even as she smiled fondly at the sleeping brunet. 

Curled up in a futon was a snoozing Tsuna under the only shelf in the closet.  He was hugging a large lion plushie worn out with love and age.  Baby blue, cloud-and-rainbow-printed pajamas only served to make the rather short brunet seem even younger and more innocent than he normally did.

Hana pulled out her incredibly expensive digital camera from her messenger bag.  An investment that she had never regretted despite never having an interest in photography before meeting Sawada.

The payoff was well worth it.  A book completed way ahead of time.  More possible stories for future publications.  And now, the oodles of cash that she would squeeze out of Sawada’s friends-for all the headaches they always caused her-from the pictures she was about to take.

*SNAP*

Well worth it indeed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Dying Will and Hyper Dying Will thing will be explained in more detail later, but Tsuna isn’t bursting into flames. No magical fire and box animals here…at least not in real life. Leaving Tsuna alone in DW mode can be disastrous. This is why everyone is here for the duration of it. 
> 
> Tsuna isn’t half mad himself(most of the time), but he can drive other people nuts.


	3. Barring Beans, Bookshelves, and Business.  Serious Business.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ages:  
> Tsuna-24
> 
> Gokudera, Yamamoto, Hana-25
> 
> Ryohei-26
> 
> Mukuro-20
> 
> Chrome-19
> 
> Hibari-17

“He’s in your closet.”

Those were the words that greeted a sleepy Hibari as he came back into the room, not looking as refreshed as he probably should have.

He simply blinked back at her for a moment before making his way back to the bed, which he crashed onto face down.

Hibari gave a grunt of acknowledgement into his pillow.

“Sawada-and everyone else in this household for that matter-is in no condition to cook anything.  His mother is out of town, Kyoko’s still recovering from a cold, and Haru’s booked all day long.”

The black-haired teen’s only response was to pull the covers over himself.

“I’ve called for catering.  They’ll be here at 3:30 in the afternoon.  It’s 10 am right now.  Anything else?”

“Wake me up and I’ll bite you to death.”

Hana rolled her eyes and hefted up the last box out to be brought downstairs.  She debated saying something along the lines of how-many-times-have-you-said-that-but-you-still-haven’t-done-it, but decided not to bother as she quietly shut the door behind her.

A small yellow bird flew in through the open window after she left. 

“Hibari. Hibari.” He trilled.

With a tired sigh, Hibari reached out for a pad of paper and pen-items that sat in every room in the house- and scrawled out something without looking.  He placed it back on the end table next to the bed.

“Wake me at this time.” He instructed and promptly fell asleep.

Hibird hopped onto the pad and stared at the **3:00 PM** on the paper then at the red **10:02 AM** of the digital clock before him.

* * *

It was nearly 2 o’clock when Tsuna, still in his rainbow and cloud printed pajamas, shuffled downstairs and slumped into a chair across from Hana.

“Afternoon.  Coffee’s in the pot.”

Tsuna wrinkled his nose.

“I don’t even like coffee.  You know that.”

“You need it after what you just pulled.  _You know that_.  So suck it up, make yourself a cup and then make me another one, because that weird-ass crap coffee maker only ever makes decent coffee for you.”

With a sigh, Tsuna got up and dumped the half empty pot down the drain.  Then he cleaned it out and proceeded to pull out a few bags of types of coffee beans. 

“Don’t take your frustrations out on Yoshi-kun.  You’re supposed to blend the different beans that I have.  The one you used wasn’t meant for making a full pot.  This one’s more for the aftertaste if you blend it with this one and a pinch of this one.”  He held up two other small bags.

“And how was I supposed to know that?  And why do you always use Yoshi-kun? I know you have others.”

“I’ve got a few recipe binders just for different types of coffee blends alone and Yoshi-kun works just fine.”  He gave the pink and silver coffee maker a fond pat then headed for a bookshelf at the edge of the kitchen and rifled through the various recipe books until he pulled out one with what looked like graffiti adorning the covers.  This was passed to Hana who flipped open the laminated cover to skim through the recipes.

“My ex-boss made this.  Well, he decorated the covers and my co-worker, Neku-kun, designed a few more for me.  Remember how I once mentioned that I had a part time job when I was in in college?  Mr. H, the owner, really likes beans and so he opened up a café selling overpriced coffee.”

Hana raised a brow.

“Only you Sawada would be to find much less enjoy the company of a ridiculous employer.”

“Hey! He’s a great boss.  Or was a great boss until I quit.  He taught me lots of things about beans.” She vaguely recalled the slightly scruffy laidback café owner, Tsuna’s orange-haired coworker, and all of said co-workers colorful friends.  Well, they had nothing on the nutjobs Tsuna tended to attract anyways.

“So as soon as you were done learning about Shakespearean literature you went to learn about beans…”

Tsuna flushed a little.  “Well…I didn’t just learn about beans.  I learned how to prepare espresso and lattes and mochas and I ended up expanding his menu because I knew how to bake and cook more than him and I just…yeah.” He sighed, but kept on measuring out several dark beans into different bowls.  “I learned about beans.  And coffee.  And he was nice enough to let me experiment with them to come up with different flavors.  He even made that book for me so I could keep track of all my creations.”

“Are you talking about beans Tsuna?  Hey, Hana.”

“Good morning Takeshi and we’re talking about my job at WildKat.”

“It’s two in the afternoon Sawada.  Yamamoto.”

She nodded at him as he plopped himself onto another seat.  “We’re talking about his strange employer along with the fact that Tsuna knows how to prepare a ridiculous variety of coffee blends even though he doesn’t like coffee.”

“It’s not my fault I’m allergic.” Grumbled the brunet as his grinders (where did those things even come from?) whirled to life.

“You don’t even show any reactions when you drink it.”

“Maybe.  But that’s what my allergy test results said and I’ve never been able to really get into it either.  It doesn’t bother me, but I don’t really like it unless it’s got lots of sugar and milk.”

“So beans.”

Tsuna sighed.  “Yes Takeshi.  We’re talking beans.”  He moved to a different cabinet across the kitchen and pulled out a ceramic tea set along with a canister of green tea leaves.  They were kept separate so that no essence of coffee would taint the leaves.  Tsuna was pretty sure they wouldn’t with how tightly everything was sealed, but better safe than sorry.  Kyoya would have a fit if his tea tasted like coffee.

“Hahaha.  That’s great.  We sure had some good times back then didn’t we?”

“What the hell are you going on about now?” Gokudera grumbled as he made his way down and dropped into the seat next to his friend.

“Beans Hayato. Beans.” 

Gokudera snorted at Yamamoto’s grin and rolled his eyes but he wasn’t able to hide the fond smile as he recalled their college days.  “WildKat and its resident bean-freak huh?”  Seriously.  She needed to get the story behind this Mr. H and Tsuna’s miraculous brewing skills.  All she knew was that he made bi-monthly trips back to Shibuya to get certain brands of beans, because apparently Mr. H. stocked every kind imaginable. 

He turned to Tsuna with a more positive greeting.

“Afternoon Jyuudaime!  Do you need any help?” 

“Ah. That’s alright.  I’m almost done.”  Hana stared as she looked up from perusing the binder.  When the hell did Sawada get four more coffee machines?  She had only found ever been able to find three.  For that matter, why did he even have so many bags of coffee beans in the first place?  Oh. Right.  Even if he didn’t drink it that often, his visitors often did.  Ah forget it.  As long as she got good coffee for free, she didn’t care.  She wasn’t going to waste her time pondering the mysteries of Sawada Tsunayoshi or she’d never be able to stop.

Tsuna turned on the exhaust fan, the ceiling fan and another tabletop fan that he positioned at the open kitchen window .  Airing out as much of the smell of brewing coffee as he could, while simultaneously pulling out all sorts of mugs. 

“Hana.  Try this one.  Recipe #87.  A Brazilian Santos blend.  I’ve added a touch of maple syrup and milk to it.”

Taking a sip from her hand-painted floral patterned black mug-a birthday gift from Chrome-she closed her eyes and sighed.  Perfect as always.  Sometimes, she considered pressing Sawada into starting a coffee house, but he would always refuse saying that his calling was writing with a gentle but sad look.  After almost three years, that incident still hovered over them all, but resilient as always Tsuna was the one to bounce back first.  As for everyone else…she banished thoughts of the past from her mind.  Now wasn’t the time to reminisce about those sorts of things.  Now was the time to enjoy these moments of peace with a heavenly cup of coffee.

“Your usual Takeshi, Hayato.”

A blue baseball mug and a red and black skull themed mug touched gently tapped the table in front of the two men who had both put their heads down.

“Thanks Tsuna. Mmmm.  Brew #80.  Awesome as always.”

“That’s not coffee you baseball-freak.  That’s coffee-flavored milk.  _This_ is coffee.”

With that Gokudera took a sip of Tsuna’s Brew #59 with a dash of Almond syrup.

Ryohei practically bounced into the kitchen with loud greetings for everyone and a hug for Hana, accepting his boxing ring mug.  Then Mukuro and Chrome arrived and Tsuna plonked down a chocolate and a vanilla flavored cup in front of their respective owners.  Lambo got his chocolate milk and finally Hibari made his way down with Hibird on his shoulder.  His green tea was gently set in front of him along with a shallow dish of water for Hibird.  Having served everyone else, Tsuna sat down with his orange mug and took a sip of his own coffee, Brew #27, a Hawaiian Kona blend.

He estimated that he would have about fifteen more minutes of peace before everyone woke up enough to remember who they were sitting next to.

* * *

With everyone bribed with the promises of more free food and drinks in the future if they could just keep quiet long enough, Tsuna and Hana got down to work in the living room.

“The stories in this box are all the ones that we have to wait for Haru to sort.  For her birthday present, she gets first pick on which stories she wants to turn into plays and you can negotiate with her over her choices as well as the ones you want to turn into books.”

Then they’d have to wait for their mysterious boss, Shinja-san, as well.   The greedy figure who actually owned multiple companies, but had chosen to take a hand in personally being the head of every publication department that Tsuna just so happened to work for.  He (or she, no one was really sure, but everyone referred to Shinja-san as a he) was usually away dealing with other things or counting money and Hana-his proxy-would often be sent to help Tsuna in his place.  For some reason, the man had taken an interest in Tsuna, citing that the brunet was brimming with potential for money-making opportunities. 

There were bound to be intense battles in the future if Haru and Shinja-san both ended up wanting to use the same story.  Tsuna didn’t see why they couldn’t just let Haru make plays out of his published stories, as long as she had his permission, which she did, but the company still claimed rights to it.  This often led to fights, but while Shinja-san may have been the person who personally approved his paychecks, Haru was his friend way before he ever even considered making a living as a writer.

“Sawada.  What’s this one about? You’ve got it bolded in bright purple ink.”

‘The Parallels of a boy Named Mare’

“Ah!  It’s a collection of all the stories I’ve ever written for my pen pal in Italy.  In a few months, it’ll be the sixteenth anniversary of our friendship.  That’s why I wanted to give them to him as a present.”

Hana quirked a brow.  “You’ve been writing stories to that Mashimare guy for sixteen years?  Shinja-san is going to have a fit if he finds out that you’ve been holding out on him.”

“I’ve only been writing stories to him for fourteen years.  I promised that once I had written him a hundred stories, I’d have them bound and printed and give him an entire book.  And I wouldn’t even be working for Shinja-san if it weren’t for him.  He was the one who encouraged me to keep writing in the first place.  I don’t want these published for the public.  These are just for my first friend.  He’s even scanned and sent me the early stories way back when I was using crayon to write them out.”

Hana just shook her head.  “Fine.  I’ll see what I can do.  Anything else?”

“Can Lightning Strike be released on May twenty-eighth?”

“That’s in less than three months Sawada.”

“Yeah, but it for Lambo’s birthday.  That’s his present.  He’s the inspiration for this one after all.  I’ve even got the dedication page written out.”

“You’re pushing it.  Even if you’ve finished the entire thing, I’ve still got to go over this.  Then Shinja-san’s going to have to go over it.  Mukuro and Chrome need to design the covers which also have to be selected and approved.  Not to mention the crap ton of other things that go into releasing this.”

“Already did.”  Mukuro’s head popped through the open glass door.  Hana and Tsuna could see I-Pin and Fuuta, who had gone to help out Haru for the last two days and returned just in time for lunch, playing with Lambo and Chrome in the backyard. “The little cow even picked it himself.”

“Wasn’t this supposed to be a surprise?”

Tsuna answered “No.” at the same time as Mukuro’s reply.

“What could be a better present than having a hand in the creation of your favorite series?”

“Fine. Fine.  I’ll handle this too.  I may not be able to actually get the book released on that date, but I should be able to get you the first printed copy by then.  You’ll have it in time for his birthday.”  She pulled out her tablet and started to take down notes.  “So any other special requests?”

“Nope.  That’s about it.  Everything else already has instructions with it. The next installment of the Metal Pets series is done.  Mukuro and Chrome have finished the pictures for it and we have the page layouts designed already.”

“You know they’re talking about getting permission to turn it into an anime?”  asked Mukuro as he slid into the seat next to Tsuna.

Tsuna choked in surprise.  “Are you serious?!”

“Where did you hear that from?”

“Kufufufu.  I have my sources.”  Hana was about to ask, but then realized that she didn’t want to know.

Metal Pets.  It was a popular children series about the adventures of various pets who were actually homunculus.  They were fused with some sort of metal and lived out their lives together with their owners who had each given up something important to be able to keep their pet.  Their owners’ faces were never shown, but the love they showed when they interacted with the pets was clear to see anyways.  Chromium Cat was the protagonist, although she was usually just called Chrome, but the series actually followed Chrome’s fellow homunculus as well, such as Platinum Platypus, Gold Gecko, Copper Chinchilla, Silver Swan, Aluminum Anteater, Titanium Turtle and more.

Hana decided to log the rumor under Potential Offers and so they continued to discuss and sort through the multitudes of stories that Tsuna had poured everything he had into creating over the last three weeks.

“Have I ever told you how much I love your Hyper Dying Will mode?” she asked as she looked at the nicely sorted lists of stories under the various names that Tsuna went by.  In fact, none of Tsuna’s works had ever been published under his true name.  Anonymity was something that he preferred to maintain and even if there had been speculations by fans that some series were written by the same person, no one could ever prove it.  Shinja-san was very good at keeping Tsuna-and Mukuro and Chrome for that matter-out of the public eye even as their work was marketed and sold around the world.

“Only every time you see the results from it.”

“Well, I for one don’t.”  Mukuro sighed tiredly.  “You’re such a slave driver, not at all like your usual easily flustered cute self, and the worst part is that no one even thinks about disobeying after we’ve spent the last few days chasing your Dying Will self around town.  Once it’s over with, no one has the energy to do anything.”

“That’s the other reason I love it so much.” The only woman in their trio smirked as she took another sip from her coffee.  “I don’t have to worry about the damage you monkeys are likely to cause for a few more days.”

“What was that woman!” 

“You heard me!”  Hana shot back at Gokudera’s shout.

“Ah! You didn’t have to get the laundry Hayato.”

“Nonsense! You’re busy right now.  Washing your clothes is no problem at all Jyuudaime!”

Before Tsuna could protest, Hayato had slipped outside and was yelling at Lambo to help him fold the laundry as he was the one who was mostly responsible for starting the juice war an hour ago.  Tsuna had no idea where all the juice came from because he was positive that he didn’t have any this morning.  Nor was he surprised that he was the only one who ended up soaked head to toe in what smelled like a mixture of pineapple juice, coconut oil and grape jelly drink.

Kyoya had left to get his updates from his Disciplinary Committee that he had missed over the last few weeks, but Tsuna knew that he’d be back in a heartbeat if he was needed.  He was also incredibly grateful that the teen had left shortly after the fight started or else he’d be dealing with more than just sticky clothing.  Ryohei had gone back to check on his gym and bring some soup for Kyoko and Takeshi had left to reassure his father that, yes, Tsuna (and everyone else) was still alive and, no, they were pretty sure that Tsuna wasn’t about to have another burst of inspiration (and consequently go back into Dying Will Mode) anytime soon.

 “Oh!” Tsuna smacked a fist into his palm.  “I just remembered.  I need new bookshelves."

Hana stopped typing to look at him.  “Do you even have any more room?”  The wall to wall shelves Tsuna’s study came to mind.  The living room they were sitting in had at least six, leaving spaces in between for the glass door that led to the back yard, the TV, and the doorways.  The kitchen-cum-dining room had a few too.  An entire wall of the guest room and master bedroom was filled as well.  Tsuna’s own room was packed with them.  Even the bathrooms had covered magazine-filled shelves for people-mostly Lambo-to read as they did their business.

“Course I do.  But I can just get some short ones and stack them on the other short ones I have.”

She thought of how most of the shelves were already just high enough for him to barely reach.  “Better get a stepstool while you’re at it.”

“Are you implying that Jyuudaime is short?!”

“No.  I’m outright saying that he is.”

“Jyuudaime’s not short!  He’s just-just…”  Gokudera floundered as he tried to think of a suitably less offensive (in his head) term for Tsuna’s height, or lack of.

“Vertically challenged?” offered Mukuro as he tried to keep himself from cracking up. “Little? Tiny?  Petite? Bantam? Undersized? Diminutive? Compact? Curtailed of his fair proportion?  Ru-“

Tsuna snatched the last double chocolate chip cookie from the nearly forgotten plate at his side and shoved it into Mukuro’s mouth, nearly choking his pineapple haired friend.

“It’s okay Hayato.  I know I’m short, but at least I should still be able to reach my books without needing a stool.”

“Yet.” Before Gokudera could snap out a retort to defend Tsuna from Hana’s truthful remarks, a ringing sound was heard.

“Ah! The cupcakes!  I’ll be right back!”  Tsuna dashed back into the kitchen and Lambo, Fuuta and I-Pin followed behind as soon as they heard the timer go off.

“Now that he’s out of the way, let’s get down to the real business.”

At Hana’s no nonsense tone, Gokudera settled down in his seat.  Mukuro managed to swallow his cookie and Chrome, having followed Tsuna’s adoptive siblings in, took Tsuna’s previous place.

“I found him on the bottom shelf of the guest room closet.  You all saw his pajamas this morning before you soaked it in juice.”

She opened a folder on her tablet, having already transferred several of the pictures from this morning onto it and handed it over to her eager audience.

“The kids should keep him busy for another twenty minutes.  I’ve now got enough prints of Tsuna in different sleepwear and I’m planning on having them printed into photo books.  Here are the ones from this morning.  We can have a meeting sometime this week and you all can vote for which pictures you want in it.  Including the naked Lion’s Rock one.” She added as she saw Mukuro opening his mouth. “And the Moonlight Sonata and the Gothic Spiral one.” Gokudera and Chrome snapped their mouths shut.

“This will be the next book in The Best of Sawada Tsunayoshi series.  The tentative title is Volume 19: The Sleeping Beauty.  Any complaints?”

As their engrossed faces turned to delight, Hana could barely stop the smirk from forming on her face.

Being a lawyer may have been her dream career, but working as Tsuna’s editor was fine too.  She was making more money than she could have ever earned otherwise, and she was having much more fun too.  She never regretted it even if her family still shook their heads in puzzlement whenever they remembered the girl whose main goal in life was to marry a rich man.

“None?  Good.”

The tablet was reluctantly returned just in time as Tsuna was calling everyone into the kitchen for freshly baked cupcakes.

Free food.  Free drinks.  And lots and lots of money.

_It’s good to be me._

* * *

“By the way, Sawada.  You have new neighbors.”

“What?”

“They moved in a week ago, but you were too busy to notice.”

“Ah.  I guess I’ll have to greet them soon.  Do you think they’ll like cupcakes?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’ve been on a younger Hibari binge, but he’s a teen and younger than Tsuna here for a plot point. He was older than Tsuna in the original outline for this though.
> 
> Hana makes crappy coffee and Tsuna is now an expert brewer thanks to his time working for Mr. H. 
> 
> Mashimaro-The strange rabbit-like creature whose back side resembles a dog. Its name is the Japanese pronunciation for Marshmallow. The nickname ‘Mashimare’ will be explained later.
> 
> Shinja-Sacred Snake.   
> Guess who coincidently owns all the companies that just happen to publish Tsuna’s books.
> 
> Yes, Tsuna worked as a part timer at the WildKat from TWEWY when he was in college. Dear god I love that game. I may just need to make a prequel about Tsuna’s college days. And I spent a third of this chapter talking about coffee beans when I don’t even drink coffee. Tsuna’s apathy for coffee is based on my own experience, because yes, it is possible for people to be allergic to it. I could never get into it no matter what type I drank even if it didn’t bother me so in the end I just went back to my tea. This wasn’t meant to be a cross over, it just wrote itself.


	4. The Toddler With the Pigeon Hat

Three days had passed since his house had been emptied of guests and Tsuna was finally feeling rested.  His body no longer ached from the strenuous activity he had put it through and he was glad that his friends were physically capable of keeping up with him during these times. 

Three weeks was much longer than normal for his Dying Will mode to last, but so much work had been piling up on him lately causing his stress levels to peak.  When his vacationing muse finally came back, it was with a bang.  Not unlike a bursting dam.  In fact, he remembered that day quite clearly.  

The sky was dark and cloudy with the growling rumble of thunder urging everyone to find shelter soon.  Just as he was crossing a bridge, a blinding flash of lightning lit the darkened area, quickly followed by a crack of thunder and Tsuna vaguely recalled jumping off the bridge into the river below.  He then swam to the bank, snatching up a sharp stone as he dragged himself out of the water, and proceeded to scratch out a few paragraphs onto the grimy stone walls of the bridge. 

A passing DC member on the way home from patrol had watched with alarm as the brunet jumped and quickly alerted his fellow members.  He was a fairly new recruit who had moved to Namimori not to long ago, so while he had heard of Tsuna and seen some pictures so that he knew who not to antagonize-no one was to mess with Hibari Kyoya’s favorite person-, he had never actually seen Tsuna’s Dying Will mode until that day.  Tsuna made sure to make the poor boy a huge batch of homemade treats as compensation for the mental scarring.  He also did his best to keep Kyoya from remembering how the boy had incited everyone into a panic at his call.

_“Code 27! I repeat Code 27!  Danger Level Rank-SSS!  Sawada-san just jumped off a bridge!  I think he’s trying to commit suicide!”_

Hibari and Ryohei arrived at the same time and had had to manhandle him away from his wall scratching and into a van to bring him home, all the while trying to make sure that he had some sort of stationary and writing utensil so they wouldn’t have to deal with him using his rock to scratch the next sentence onto the inside of the van. By the time they arrived at his house, the walls and seats were plastered with several short stories written on post-it notes.  Kusakabe just sighed when Tsuna had managed to attach five to his pompadour before Hibari managed to yank him back so that the brunet wouldn’t distract their driver from the horrendous road conditions.  Ryohei took it in good stride when Tsuna started writing on the back of his T-shirt as he had run out of paper.  Because, God forbid if Tsuna started writing on the upholstery with permanent marker.

Ryohei was also the only one brave-or stupid-enough to tell Hibari that he had an entire line of them on his butt after getting out of the van.  Only Tsuna’s attempts to attack the white painted sides of the van with a Sharpie-and then the outer walls of his house-in the pouring rain had saved the boxer from the business ends of the teen’s tonfas.  (Hibari would later make sure that every vehicle under the DC’s control was stocked with a full box of pens and notepads.  He also developed a near invisible twitch whenever he saw a post-it note or any permanent marker.  It would take another three months for it to stop.)

Well…Tsuna-and everyone else-could finally relax now.  There was nothing else that urgently needed his attention at the moment so he had decided to take a walk around town.

Hana had mentioned that he had new neighbors, but he hadn’t seen or heard who they were yet.  No one had even told him where they lived and the matter had slipped from his mind.  The neighbors he had, besides Takeshi and Hayato, had mixed reactions to Tsuna.  He was generally tolerated and liked, but most of them tended to avoid that ‘Crazy Sawada Kid’ (he may have still been short, but he was an adult now!) during his more energetic phases, or if they remembered him from his younger days, ‘Streaker-Tsuna’.  

The unfortunate nickname came from back before his Dying Will mode had a name and people just said ‘Sawada’s having a fit again.’  When he used to charge ahead recklessly, his clothes would often get caught on things and torn or just outright destroyed and he wouldn’t even notice that he was no longer clothed as he ran through the streets or wherever else his body decided to take him.  When they were little, Hayato used to believe that UMA’s would temporarily take control of his body to help him accomplish his tasks, but didn’t understand human customs and limitations which was why they didn’t realize that they were causing so much trouble for Tsuna when they did.  He was so excited at the possibility that his friend was loved by aliens.

Somehow Tsuna had an inkling of a suspicion that Hayato still believed it even though he knew better now.  He sometimes wondered if it would have been better to have that nickname Dame-Tsuna instead, but somehow Streaker-Tsuna became his title and…nonono.  He was fine with Streaker-Tsuna.  Well.  Not really, but didn’t this all start because he didn’t want to be Dame-Tsuna?

Shaking his head to clear the old memories away, he blinked as a pigeon stared back at him.  There was a huge grey pigeon with shiny black eyes staring right into his face from a small tree shrub.  Strange.  Animals usually came to Kyoya like this, not him.  The pigeon wasn’t moving.  In fact, it was still staring unblinkingly into his eyes and was seriously starting to creep him out.  He was about to slowly back away when he took a second look.

Actually…those eyes looked more like glass eyes than actual eyes.  He should know after seeing the many materials that Haru often used in her costumes. 

Realizing that he was getting scared of a fake bird and feeling a little silly with himself, Tsuna decided that he wasn’t going to bother with wondering why there was even a fake bird here in the first place and turned away. 

“Still…that was pretty realistic.  Whoever made it must have put a lot of hard work into it.  How neat.”

Walking away, he never noticed when the rest of the bird emerged from the leaves.  Just below the pigeon’s breast was the pale face of a young boy with large black eyes.  Curly sideburns graced each side of his chubby cheeks and grey feathery straps met under his chin, held together by snap buttons.  The boy peered curiously after the brunet and hopped his way out of the foliage and onto the top of the nearby fence.  Then he proceeded to follow the man who continued on his way at a leisurely pace, pigeon hat bobbing along with each small step he took.

* * *

Tsuna was feeling a little anxious.  His intuition was acting up again, tingling in a way that meant that someone was intently watching him but without any ill intent.  He shrugged it off.  People tended to stare at him more often after his Dying Will mode was finished.  They’d stop soon enough once they realized that he wasn’t suddenly going to hurtle himself off café rooftops or climb telephone poles shouting out neighborhood announcements or watch alerts at the top of his lungs. 

It wasn’t like people would mess with him though.  No one who had lived through that time three years ago would dare to.  In fact, most of his neighbors were generally friendly and tried to keep him happy and not have any reason to ever, _ever_ move out of Namimori.  The sheer devastation his friends had managed to wreck in less than half a day back then-even if no one could prove it was them, everyone knew exactly who was responsible-was still talked about in hushed whispers even to this day.

_I love you guys.  All of you.  I really do._   _But…_

“Sometimes you tend to go overboard.  You’re brilliant.  The best at what you do and the best at doing what you love. You’re living life to the fullest…even if it inconveniences everyone else.  But because of it, almost no one gets you and at times you can be just too much.” Tsuna mused aloud.  “Still, you wouldn’t be you if you weren’t your usual quirky troublesome self.”

Smiling a smile so wide that it reached his ears, Tsuna sighed and closed his eyes as he clasped his hands together and stretched them high above his head.

“Maa…not like I can really complain about being quirky or troublesome myself though.”  He chuckled softly.  “I hope you never change.” 

At least there were benefits to having a reputation for being crazy.  No one paid attention to him whenever he would start muttering or talking to himself in public.  Even if he wasn’t running around in his boxers as often as he used to, people would just watch him pass by shaking their heads and continue on their way.  Most parents didn’t even bother covering their children’s eyes anymore.

Lowering his arms, Tsuna opened his eyes and came face to face with a pigeon.  The same fake pigeon from earlier.  Caramel brown eyes locked onto shiny black glass.  Peering at him from between the pink flowers and foliage of someone’s rhododendron bush behind a concrete fence was the bird’s gray feathery head, iridescent green shimmering on the sides of its neck.

Tsuna took a step to the left and the pigeon moved as if it was actually following his movements.  Instead of cocking its head like a normal bird though, the entire body shifted.  Whoever made it must have put some sophisticated equipment as the bird even looked like it was breathing.  There was that same niggling feeling of being watched again.

Tsuna turned and walked away.  The toddler followed.

* * *

“Spanner?  Shouichi?  Are you testing a new spy bot?  It’s not bad, but maybe if you can find a way to make the head move by itself?  That bobbing movement is fine, but I think most birds stay in one spot and turn their heads to look at things.”

The pigeon was peeking out from behind a telephone pole now.

Tsuna continued on, making sure not to look back.  The sounds of soft scuffing behind him were so quiet that he would believe that he was imagining them if he didn’t still have the feeling of being watched.

* * *

“Wings.  They need to be able to stretch and flutter.  Maybe beat at something if they feel scared.”

Tsuna was now sitting at a bench in a park.  The pigeon under his seat.  He could see bits of its grey feathery back from between the wooden slats.

“The beak and toes need to be sharp enough to peck and scratch too.  Don’t they tend to go for the eyes?”

He tilted his head backwards staring up into the sky.

“Oh god.  I’m giving advice on how to make a fake bird more dangerous.  If you blind someone with this thing and blame it on me, I swear I won’t make you those strawberry tarts that you like so much anymore.”

Sighing lightly, he continued.

“I know birds are quiet and all, but you might want to add in some sort of sound.  Maybe cooing.  Pigeons coo right?  And single pigeons are a little suspicious.  You’ll need a flock or at least a couple more…and maybe some sort of alarm cry.  You never know when it’ll be useful to stir up a real flock as a distraction so that yours can get away.  The breathing is a nice touch though, but I think a real bird has faster breast movements.” 

After twenty peaceful minutes, he got up and continued on his way.  His intuition trusted that the pigeon would follow and he trusted his intuition.

* * *

They were making a loop around the park and Tsuna continued on slowly walking as he talked.

“Pigeons are hungry and can be a bit greedy too.  If someone tosses a piece of bread to them, they’re going to try to get it.  You might want to make one that can eat and swallow.  Maybe even empty that food as fake poop.  Like a secondary repellent technique.  People try to avoid bird poo…actually people usually try to avoid poo in general.”

They were getting closer to the more populated side and Tsuna could see a few joggers in the distance.

“Oh! And one more thing.  If you’re going to make your bird seem like it’s flying, make sure to beat the wings hard enough to create some sort of sound.  It’s much more realistic than that hopping that you’re doing right…”

And just as Tsuna passed by the large bush squished between two trees, his arms shot out to capture the shadowy leaping figure.

“-Now!”

Tsuna blinked in surprise.  The toddler in his hands blinked back. 

“Eh?”

High above, the sun shone on the pair and the pigeon’s glassy black eyes unblinkingly stared down.

* * *

The pair had made a complete circle of the park and were now sitting back at the same bench, ice cream cones in hand.  Black sesame, vanilla, and red bean for the toddler and orange and cream swirl for the brunet.

“I can’t believe that you conned me into getting you three scoops.”

“Not my fault.  You were so impatient that you ordered before I could pick.”

“There was a line.  Other people want ice cream too you know.  The ice cream man was shooting us dirty looks and those people behind us were about to complain.”

“No.  He was shooting you, the crazy guy who sat on the sidewalk and talked to a bush for twenty minutes, dirty looks.  I’m just an innocent child that happens to be wearing an awesome hat.”

“You were in that bush.  I was talking to you and I’d call your hat crazy, but I’ve seen stranger.  ”

“That’s not what those joggers thought.  They even turned around just to avoid you and you can still call it crazy.  Crazy awesome.  Which you aren’t.  You’re just crazy.”

Tsuna snorted. “Well too bad for you, I already have a reputation for being crazy.”

“I can see why.   The fumes from all that hair spray you used must have gotten to you.”

“Hey!  This is entirely natural!  Nothing will actually work on it.  I tried to use an entire bottle of hair wax once, and it still wouldn’t stay down.”

The pigeon hat quivered as the small child began to giggle.  Tsuna’s pouty mock offended glare making him laugh even harder as they continued to eat, easy going banter flowing back and forth as if they had known each other for years.

* * *

“Just curious, but how old are you?”

“Ten.”

“Liar.”

“How do you know that?  I’m really ten.  I’m just short for my age.”

“Intuition and _I’m_ short for my age.  You’ve still got a ways to grow even if you talk like an adult.”

“True enough and fine.  I’m not ten.  I’m really eight.”

“Home schooled?”

“Of course.  Why else would I be out here at this time of day?”

“Maybe because you felt like skipping?  And you’re still lying.”

The tiny thighs on either side of his neck had tensed for a brief moment.  The toddler, now sitting on his shoulders, was actually pretty good.  He lied effortlessly and with a straight face, playing off his feelings with obvious skill, but he had a ways to go before he could even hope to match up to Mukuro’s level, much less Tsuna’s own intuition. 

“Intuition again?”

“Yeah.  But you tensed up when I said skipping.  Work on that a bit and try again.”

“…heh.  Teaching innocent youths on how to lie better.  You’re a horrible role model.”

“Please.  You’re hardly that innocent and you’re the one who keeps following me even after we’ve already established that I’m crazy.  What does that make you?”

“I’m curious.  Kids are curious you know.  It’s natural.  I’ve met crazy people before and I want to know what kind of crazy person are you.  There’re lots of different categories you know.”

“Ah ha!  That wasn’t a complete lie!  Now we’re getting somewhere.”

“How do you know that?”

“Intuition.”

“That’s what you say for everything.”

“Because it’s true.  I can believe in it because I believe in myself and I’ve got friends and family who believe in me too.  Don’t you?”

_“Trust in yourself and trust your family…” A large warm handed descended from above and gently ruffled his spiky black hair._

“Hey!  I can’t see!”

The boy uncovered Tsuna’s eyes just in time for him to see the tree that he walked into.

The pigeon hat bobbed and quivered as child continued to giggle while the man rubbed his nose with a sigh and stepped around it to continue his walk.

“I’m four.”

“Was it that hard to say in the first place?”

“How do you know I’m not lying now?”

“Intuition.”

“Then how old are you?”

“Twenty-five.”

“Wow.  You look like you’re in middle school though.  I’m going to need lots of calcium if I want to make sure that I don’t turn out to be as short as you.”

“Now you’re just being mean.  I’ll have you know that I grew at least an entire foot since middle school.”

“I’ve been mean to you all day and you’re just realizing that now?  In addition to being a midget, you must be really slow too.”

“Nu-uh.  I’m crazy remember?  When you see things differently or don’t think or act like other people they’ll call you crazy, but it’s not so bad.  I can get away with a lot of things that most people can’t even if they’d like to.  My friends are like family and they’re crazy too.  But we love it.  We love being us.  We love our life and no label like being crazy is going to change that…and you’re who you are too.  Just because everyone else might put down your hat and make fun of you for it doesn’t mean that you should stop wearing it.  It’s not like its offensive or hurting anybody…well, unless they have a phobia of birds.”

For a few moments, tiny boy was at a loss for words.  How had he known?  How had this man known even though their conversations had veered close, but never actually touched on that subject. 

“Who said anything about anybody making fun of my hat?”

The hands clutched at the wayward tufts of brown hair painfully, but Tsuna ignored it.

“Intuition.”

“Your intuition’s annoying.”

“Mmmm.  Useful though.  Want to get some lunch now?  We can eat it at my house.”

“My brother said I’m not allowed to go into people’s houses without a family member.”

“Then we’ll sit outside.  I’ve got a patio set with a big umbrella in the back yard.  Or we can eat on the swing set.”

“You have a swing set?”

“Yep.  I can move a small table between the seats and we can put the plates and drinks there. Anything you want to eat?”

“Takoyaki! I never had it before, but I saw it on TV and then I found this flyer.  They’re having a special this month.”

There was the sound of crinkling and shifting fabric and Tsuna was handed a folded, still warm piece of paper.

“Have you been carrying this under your hat all day?”

“No.  Just for the last five hours.”

Tsuna decided not to bother questioning it.  Lambo used to stick everything in his afro and it usually fell on Tsuna to help him wash out the mess.  At least the paper wasn’t sticky with questionable substances.

“Takara’s Takoyaki?  I know this place.  It’s a small family run business, but they make some of the best takoyaki in Namimori.  We’re only about fifteen minutes away from it too. Seven if I run.”

The toddler bounced on his shoulders in glee.

“What are you waiting for?  Go! Go! Go!”

“Alright. Alright. I’m going.  I’m going.  Hold on tight.”

Tsuna took off once he was sure that his little passenger wouldn’t fall off, his smile unseen.  The lonely little boy atop his shoulders was starting to finally act his age.

* * *

All throughout the town, they could both see people staring at them. 

“Look, Sawada’s got a pigeon on his head.”

“He’s crazy remember?  At least he’s still got his clothes on this time.”

Tsuna paid for the food and walked out, ignoring the whispers that trailed behind him.

All the way home, the toddler wrapped his arms around Tsuna’s head and buried his hands into the wild mess the brunet called his hair, snuggling his face into it as well.  It was so very soft and made him think of bunnies.  The older man smelled nice too.  Like fruity sweets and yeasty bread and good coffee.  It reminded him of mornings at home in Italy with his brothers.  He missed Italy, but maybe being in Japan wouldn’t be so bad after all.

* * *

True to his word, Tsuna and the toddler had lunch on a swing set and the small boy finally took off his hat, setting it carefully onto an unoccupied seat.  With a shake of his head, the flattened hair fluffed up and curly sideburns sprung free.  Tsuna just raised a brow and grinned at him, but didn’t say a word.

With the takoyaki finished, Tsuna brought out a tray of bite sized fruit filled muffins while watching the way the toddler’s eyes continued to stare into his living room.

“You like books?”

“Mmm.”  He was standing on the edge of the steps with a longing look on his face.  Tiny feet pressed to the edge of the doorway, without actually crossing over.

“What do you like to read about?”

“Everything.  I like insects and seeing how things are made and magic and gu-where are you going?”

“Give me a minute. I know it’s here somewhere.”  Tsuna pulled out a particularly large hardcover book that was nearly as tall as the small boy standing at his doorstep. 

“Can you read English?”

“Yeah.”

“Then how about this one?”

The Illustrated World Encyclopedia Of Butterflies And Moths: A Natural History And Identification Guide 

Seeing how delighted the little boy was, Tsuna couldn’t help but smile.

* * *

“How come you aren’t surprised by how smart I am? Does it bother you at all?”

“No.  Should it? I was surprised a little at first, but one of my best friends is a genius.  He could have probably gone to college when he was still in elementary school, but he refused to skip any grades.  In fact, he stayed with me in every class every year-even when he was assigned to a different one-until we graduated from high school.”

“So he’s a stalker.”

Tsuna spluttered.  “He’s not a stalker.  He’s just…enthusiastic and he doesn’t follow me around as often as he used to…okay, he did have some stalker-ish tendencies in the beginning, but he managed to tone it down over the years.  Ah! But don’t tell him I said that.”

“When I find out who it is, I’ll be sure to.”

“Ah!  Meanie!  You’re so mean!”

And the boy giggled from his place on Tsuna’s lap, large glossy pictures of beautiful butterflies spread out before them.

* * *

It was warm and comfortable, and the toddler didn’t want to move, but someone was shaking him gently.

“It’s about time for most schools in this area to finish.  Don’t you have to get back?  Is there someone picking you up?”

That’s right.  Sawada Tsunayoshi.  Crazy-Tsuna.  The man who had played with him all day and took care of him and talked to him instead of talking down to him and didn’t even mind that a four year old had run away from school.  They were reading the book on the trampoline and everything had been so nice and peaceful that he had fallen asleep.

“What-”  He yawned widely as he rubbed a large black eye sleepily.  “-time is it?”

“A quarter after three.”  Suddenly remembering that one of his brothers should be arriving home about now, the toddler sat up and realized he must have been laying on Tsuna for some time.  There was a slightly damp patch of drool on his shirt, but the man either didn’t notice or had chosen to ignore it.

He looked to the side and found the book had been closed, but Tsuna had placed a flowery bookmark in it.

“You’re welcome to come back anytime and finish it.” He looked up at the brunet who was now handing him a paper bag.

“I packed some more muffins for you to take with you.  You can share them with your family.”

 “My hat.“  Tsuna handed over the pigeon hat and the toddler flipped it over to reveal a concealed zipper on the underside.  He pulled out a small draw string backpack and slipped the paper bag into it.  Then he shouldered it and rezipped and buckled his hat back on.

“Where are you going?”

“Home. Guess what.”

“What?”

“I’m your new neighbor!”

“What?!”

Gleefully laughing, the boy dashed across the grassy lawn and shimmied and hopped his way up the various bushes and objects that lined the farthest fenced edge of his backyard.  Perched on the top of a shrub, he paused and called back.

“Hey!  Crazy-Tsuna!  I know what kind of crazy you are now!”

“Huh?”

“You’re crazy awesome!”

With a grin, the boy hopped over the fence and disappeared, leaving behind a gaping Tsuna.  Suddenly, the pigeon head popped back up.

“Oh and by the way, my name’s Renacido.  Renacido Maggiore.  Or as you Japanese would say, Maggiore Renacido.  But you can just call me Ren.  Ciao.”

Then the bird disappeared and small footsteps faded away.

“Maggiore…that’s Italian for greatest and Renacido…Renacido.  Isn’t that Spanish for…reborn?  Greatest Reborn?”

His thoughts flashed back to the one-time tenant of his old home over ten years ago.  A man who had become an older brother figure to him during his short stay in Nana’s house.  Dino Cavallone…and all the stories he had told about his sadistic tutor Reborn.

Reborn, who was also a major character in his Flames of Resolution series.  Reborn, the cursed baby with wild black hair, curly sideburns, a shape-shifting chameleon named Leon, and an impeccable black suit and fedora who happened to have a penchant for dressing up in outlandish costumes.

Tsuna wanted to bang his head on the wall. 

It’s got to all be a coincidence.  Sure Reborn was a strange name, but people named their kids strange things all the time.  Especially in America and Reborn was an English word.

He tried to ignore the fact that he had been spending the entire day with a little kid that may or may not possibly be related to the actual person who the most popular character he had ever created was based off of.

* * *

“You were supposed to be at preschool.”

“You didn’t even come to get me.”

“Because I knew that you’d be at home.  So what’d you do today?”

“I met one of our neighbors.”

“Oh?”  The second youngest child in the house looked down at his younger brother. 

“Who?”

“Sawada Tsunayoshi.”

“The guy in the house that has all those people coming and going all the time?  The one that’s directly behind our yard?”

“Yeah.  Crazy-Tsuna.  I like him.”

The older brother stopped and stared down at the toddler.  For any of them to actually like someone, that could only mean…

“Really?  Is he that much fun to mess with?”

Renacido grinned.

“Today, I followed him and he gave me advice on how to make my Rock Pigeon hat more realistic.  Then I bit him and kicked him in the shin and he spent twenty minutes making himself look crazy by talk to a bush in the park.  After that, he bought me ice cream and carried me around all day even though I kept making him walk into things.  And he got me takoyaki for free and then we ate muffins and read a book on butterflies and moths together and then we took a nap on his trampoline and he gave me some more muffins to take home and, and…can you make me another hat?  I need to be able to peck someone’s eyes out with the beak and some sound effects and movable wings too.  The head needs to be able to tilt independently and I need eyelids and eyes where the pupils can change and-”

“Slow down.  That’s not a hat.  That’s a hi-tech pigeon shaped robot.  You’ll hurt your neck with all that weight.  And how long are you planning to skip school?”  He hadn’t seen his little brother this animated in...actually, he didn’t think he had ever seen his brother so lively before. 

“I’m not skipping.  I’m cutting class.  There’s a difference.  There’s nothing interesting there anyways.”

“True. We know that you’re way above them.  You’re a Maggiore after all, but you know why you need to go.”

Ren pouted.

“Fine.  I’ll stick around for a few more minutes, maybe long enough for the roll call, but to make it up to me, you’re coming with me to Crazy-Tsuna’s house tomorrow.”

“What?”  Ren received an odd, almost disbelieving look from his brother.

“Crazy-Tsuna’s got lots of books.  I can see shelves filled with them.  But Reborn says I’m not allowed to go to people’s houses without one of you…unless, I’m making a secret house call when the residents aren’t home and he’s gonna be home.”

“We can go to the library as soon as I get a card.”

“But he has better ones.  He’s got a butterfly encyclopedia.  In English.  With full color.”  It was as close to a whine as any of their family had ever heard.  Ren may have only been four, but he still had his pride, his cunning, and most importantly, intricate knowledge of his siblings’ weaknesses.

“He makes good food.  These muffins come from his ovens.”

“You really want to go that much?”

“He’s got a swinging bench.”

“We can get one.”

“He got a swing set.”

“We can get that too.”

“He has a big hammock under his tree.”

“You already sleep in one.”

“He’s got two attached ladders on the outside of his house that go up to his roof, a small reinforced platform overlooking the back yard and the biggest most heavy duty custom-made trampoline that I’ve ever seen complete with padding around the edges.”

“…” The elder was too busy chewing on a blueberry muffin to answer.

“And he said that he’ll be home alone all day tomorrow and that we’re free to come over whenever we feel like it.”

“Will there be more muffins?”

“Maybe.”

“When are we leaving?”

Ren grinned and Réincarné, or Rein as his brothers called him, wondered just what kind of person had managed to win over his prickly little brother.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tsuna has successfully won the heart of Toddler!Reborn. One down, three to go! Apparently, Rein isn’t worried that his tiny four year old brother has run away from preschool and pretty much hung out with a reputed nutjob all day long.
> 
> Dame-Tsuna never stuck on him here. Instead, he’s now remembered as Streaker-Tsuna and sometimes Crazy-Sawada. I’m having fun writing Tsuna’s DW escapades even if the reason why he has a DW/HDW mode at all isn’t such a funny reason.
> 
> The constant references to the big incident three years will continue on until I get to Hibari’s story arc which is about his meeting with Tsuna and the consequent omake/interlude chapter/TWEWY crossover that comes from it. Sadly it’s a good many chapters away.
> 
> Takoyaki-Octopus balls. Fried batter balls usually filled with minced octopus, tempura scraps, pickled ginger, and green onion, coated with takoyaki sauce and sprinkled with bonito flakes and seaweed.
> 
> The Illustrated World Encyclopedia Of Butterflies And Moths: A Natural History And Identification Guide is a real book by Sally Morgan. I don’t own it.
> 
> Obligatory Warning: Please do not attempt to jump onto a trampoline from a rooftop. I am not responsible for any injuries/deaths that may occur from your own stupidity.


	5. The Child Who Likes to Create

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I guess I should mention this now, but Tsuna has had other relationships before. There will also be implied 8059 and past allusions to 802759, 27K, and more occasionally. Nothing explicit though. If this bothers you, sorry, but these aren’t much more than side mentions.
> 
> Ages:  
> Kyoko-26  
> Haru-25  
> Adult Reborn ‘Reborn’-28  
> Teen Reborn ‘Rinato’ or Rin-16 (I’ve seen this spelled as both Rinato and Renato, but since there’s already a Ren, this one became Rin)  
> Kid Reborn ‘Réincarné’ or Rein-11  
> Toddler Reborn ‘Renacido’ or Ren-4
> 
> Please forgive any mistakes in the names as they were taken from google translate.
> 
> Reborn:  
> Rinato-Italian  
> Réincarné-French  
> Renacido-Spanish

“Japanese”

**“Italian”**

* * *

Tsuna decided to put the matter of Reborns out of his mind and instead focused on what he could do to entertain two kids.  Despite being smarter than a normal child, Ren was still four and most likely had different interests than someone more than twice his age.  Heck, eight-year-olds lorded their extra months over seven-year-olds who in turn lorded their extra months over six-year-olds.  What was cool to someone at twelve would be too ‘babyish’ for someone at thirteen.  So what was a common ground that Tsuna could focus on? 

Everybody liked free food no matter how old they were and Tsuna was planning on testing out the huge case of honey Byakuran had gotten him as a souvenir from his business trip and the boxes of assorted nuts from Dino who had coincidently also gotten them on a business trip.  And the letters that said that they missed him and would like to see him again.

For some of the sneakiest geniuses Tsuna had ever known, their usual methods of asking Tsuna for something were the most unsubtle and blatant suggestions ever.  So much so that even Ryohei and Lambo could pick up on it almost instantly.  Or maybe it was Ryohei’s little brother and Lambo’s big brother senses tingling.

Byakuran and Dino had also not mentioned a date.  That meant they were probably going to sneak away from work for the visit soon and they decided not to put one down incase their letters were intercepted.   Tsuna was more concerned with the way the souvenirs had been delivered in a suspicious possibly less than legal manner via giant marshmallow themed bean bag chairs and hollow Trojan horse statues on his front lawn. 

Said chairs and statues had been taken and destroyed before Tsuna could say a word although his friends had extracted their contents first.

Kyouya, Chrome, and Hayato were curious enough to find out the exact routes the packages had taken though.  Tsuna had made sure to provide free fresh coffee and pastries for them first and then the poor delivery people that had been tied up and interrogated.  That was really what most of his free time consisted of these days. 

“Hmmm…”  Tsuna peered into his fridge.  He was almost out of milk.  Oh well.  He’ll just pop into Kyoko’s bakery after closing time and get some from there.  If these new treats turned out well, they’d work together to tweak them for her customers anyways.  Come to think of it, when was the last time he had actually footed the bill for more than a tenth of his groceries? 

With the way terrified and/or grateful people tried to keep him happy by randomly giving him presents, full ten course tri-weekly meals from his mother who worried that he wasn’t eating regularly, the DC’s protection money (that Tsuna would not question where nor who nor how  they got it) authorized (insisted on) by Kyouya, the occasional monthly (unnecessary and unwanted) checks (bribes) from Kyouya’s parents, and the fact that Tsuna actually had a working agreement with Kyoko where he was pretty much given free reign of her kitchen and ingredients to use for creating new edibles so long as she got to sell the successful ones, Tsuna actually spent more money on reparation than he did on the necessities of life.

Or maybe reparations could be considered a necessity, especially when one had a guilt complex as big as Tsuna’s.  Everyone else called it his great, big, sweet, nice, bleeding, omnivorous, golden, forgiving-depending on who you asked-heart.

Sure he made money from writing, but that was an entirely different matter and most of it…well at least all his banks knew better than to question how and what it was being spent on.

Heck, he barely got to do his own taxes as Hayato tended to do them before Tsuna could get a word in otherwise.  The silveret also refused to take monetary payment from his best friend for the service, so Tsuna had to resort to other ways to pay him back such as home cooked meals as often as he could.  He was also almost afraid to see what Hayato had put down for tax write offs every time, but as no one had ever made a complaint, he tried to put the matter out of his mind. 

Shaking his head, Tsuna picked up the phone. 

“Hello Kyoko.  Sorry for calling so late.  I know you just closed, but do you mind if I come over right now to get some ingredients?  I’ll help you prepare for tomorrow while I’m there.”

The sound of her reply came through the speakers as if she was holding the phone between her cheek and shoulder.  Something fell with a clang in the background and Tsuna pulled away with a wince for a few seconds.

“Mmmm-hmmm.  Yeah.  You remember those Elephant Ear cookies dipped in chocolate?  Well, Byakuran sent over some honey not too long ago and I’ve got an idea for a…”

* * *

The next morning, Tsuna was up early before the sunrise like usual.  His kitchen had been completely wiped down in preparation for the day and everything that he needed was being set up.  The shine of reflected light winked at him from the corner of his eye, and Tsuna walked over to give the pink and silver coffee maker a consoling pat.

“I know.  I know.  You miss everybody too.”

The downside to having such loyal friends-family really-was that they had a tendency to drop everything at a moment’s notice just to support his crazy lifestyle and thus fell far behind on their own work.  The new school year had just started up and Kyoya and his DC who should have been preparing for it the month before had ended up helping him instead.  Hayato who normally could and would have caught any mistakes and discrepancies in his workplace wasn’t there to do so as he was too busy catering to Tsuna’s every need and whim.  Last Tsuna heard, he was still cursing up a storm at his incompetent accounting team. 

Takeshi who should have been at baseball practice for his team and Ryohei who should have been caring for Kyoko and running his gym had both been called in.  Even Lambo, spoiled and bratty as he could be, chipped in by pulling in Fuuta, who had a part-time job, and I-Pin, who had her apprenticeship at a local ramen shop under her guardian’s care. 

Mukuro, Chrome, both freelance artists, were busy with a rather expensive project that they had to leave town for.  Some high profile person or another had seen their portfolios while they were busy with Tsuna’s HDW orders and had commissioned them to help design several murals and other decor for a new zoo.  They along with the rest of the group collectively known as the Kokuyo Gang had all packed and left the day after Hana’s visit and wouldn’t be back for some time.

Even now, everyone was still trying to catch up and Tsuna was left alone at a time that he would normally be surrounded by them.  Well, once they did get back to a normal schedule, they’d all be here bright and early for their free meals just like clockwork.

If anyone could have seen him talking to his favorite coffee maker right now, they would have thought that he was crazy.  Wait! He was already known as a Crazy-Tsuna.  That’s alright.  He could talk to Yoshi-kun as much as he wanted then.

…

Something was still wrong with that sentence, but by this point, Tsuna didn’t care to think of it anymore. 

“It’s way too early for this.”

Yoshi-kun reflected a bit more of the fluorescent kitchen lighting into Tsuna’s face.  It seemed dimmer than usual.

“Yeah.  It is kinda lonely when there’s no one to make coffee for.  How about some hot chocolate?”

Yoshi-kun’s metal edges seemed to twinkle a bit brighter. 

“Alright then.  Hot chocolate it is!”

He cheered, then took the carafe and filled it with his personal cocoa mix, added water to Yoshi-kun, and flicked the switch. 

The water in Yoshi-kun burbled away happily and before long, Tsuna had a large mug of hot chocolate topped high with whipped crème, cocoa powder and cinnamon in his hands. 

Just as he was about to take a lick, there was a knock on the glass of his back door. 

There was a boy with a bored, apathetic expression standing there in thick dark jeans and slightly too big black bomber jacket that Tsuna hazarded held a lot more than just a little boy within its folds.  He was about the same height as Lambo and atop his right shoulder was Ren who had a new hat on. It looked like the front of a yellow and brown slug.  A huge yellow and brown slug that brought up memories.  So many memories.  Tsuna did his best to repress the shudders.  The local zoo had a rather interesting history with Tsuna and his friends.

‘ _At least I know what Ren will look like in a few years,’_ he mused as he unlocked and slid open the door.

“Isn’t it a bit early to be up boys?”

The taller boy cocked a slender brow at him.

“Hypocritical much?”

“Hmmm.”  Point to Big-Ren.  “A lot more than most people would ever admit.”

That slender eyebrow twitched, then lowered and Tsuna was once again greeted with a politely blank face.  Sometimes Tsuna would bend down to compensate for the height difference when dealing with children so as to put them at ease.  However, he had a feeling that Ren’s brother was the type to make others feel like they were at the same height if not even smaller with his unaffected attitude of the posh and wealthy.

“Your whipped crème is melting.” Ren pointed out helpfully.  After it had run down two-thirds of the mug and over all of his fingers.

Tsuna blinked down and yelped as his hot chocolate sloshed over the edge of the mug when he turned it to look.

They were much earlier than expected, but he could deal.  He could deal like nobody’s business.  But he would deal as soon as he finished licking whipped crème off his fingers.

* * *

The visit was more like a reconnaissance mission disguised as a trip to town.  At least that was the impression Tsuna was getting from his young guests.  Either way, he was going to indulge them. 

First stop, the kitchen for breakfast.  Of course they would be freeloaders.  By this point in his life, Tsuna would be more surprised if they weren’t.  Almost everyone that ever came to his home came to be one at some point in their life.  The few exceptions being his mother and…in all honesty, he couldn’t think of anyone else, but most people eventually paid him back in some other way.

The immature part of him always loved seeing peoples’ expressions the first time they saw his kitchen and the raised brows of both children as they stopped and stared made him smile.

“It looks more like the inside of a café.”  Noted Ren.

“I used to work in one during my college days and really enjoyed it.  When I moved here, some friends had decided to renovate it to look a bit like my old work place.”  What he didn’t say was that it was part of the entirely unnecessary, but appreciated, effort of everyone, mostly Kyouya and the DC, to entice him to stay in Namimori instead of moving back to a more populated place, like Shibuya where WildKat resided.

“So what would you like?”

“What are you charging?” Rein instantly asked, his dark eyes carefully observing every reaction.

“Nothing except your time and company.”  Tsuna was honestly feeling a little lonely at the moment and he genuinely liked kids, bratty and aloof and spoiled and any other unpleasant types included. 

“Then I want-“

“Ren.”  It was a warning delivered in the same monotone that Réincarné had been speaking in since he had first appeared on Tsuna’s doorstep.

**“Relax Rein.  I told you Crazy-Tsuna’s crazy-awesome.  He made those muffins you liked.”**

**“But can he cook?  Baking’s different from cooking.  ‘Sides, what if he’s a-”**

**“We’ll find out soon enough.  If he’s pedophile or trafficker, I know we can take him.  I’m getting hungry Rein. And you ate those muffins without complaining.”**

Tsuna kept a patient oblivious expression on as he set about pulling out various pots and pans, giving no indication that he could understand every word.  Nana was great at this. Tsuna was even better.  And Iemitsu had never caught on even after nearly three decades of marriage.  Hayato, Bianchi, Dino, and Byakuran were all pretty good if eccentric teachers and after Lambo joined his steadily growing family, it became more like a necessity than something to simply pad a job resume.

When the whispers had stopped, Tsuna turned around with a bright smile and a notepad.

“Ready to order?” 

“You’re taking this pretty seriously aren’t you?  Did you enjoy working as a waiter that much?”

“I guess you could say that.”  Tsuna’s smile turned wry but no less genuine.  “These days I feel like I’m working more now that I _don’t_ have a steady job.”

Ignoring his brother’s attempts to rile up Crazy-Tsuna, Ren pulled a list from under his new hat and handed it over to the brunet.

“Here.  I made one already.  Be thankful.  I even wrote it in kanji just for you.”

Tsuna took it and scanned the unsurprisingly neat characters.

“Huh.  I’m pretty sure that I didn’t even know how to spell miso when I was your age.”  He looked up, not even doubting if Ren had gotten someone else to write out the list for him.  “I’m guessing that this is just a precursor to a full menu?  I don’t know how to make every dish in Japan, but I can at least handle this much.”

“Then here.”  Rein pulled out a thick sheaf of paper nicely tucked into a plastic report cover from the depths of his jacket.  Sadly, his pre-prepared menu wasn’t enough to throw off Tsuna’s stride even a little.  All his preliminary probes were showing that the man seemed to hold a great deal of patience.  He had to be if he managed to put up with the youngest for an entire day.  Then again Rein wasn’t really trying yet.  It really was too early, but Ren had been insistent and noisily so.

What followed was a discussion of the several dishes that usually made up a traditional Japanese breakfast interspersed with demands for sweets, drinks and heavier meals that would usually be eaten later in the day.  Apparently, they were going take cultural immersion seriously when it came to food.

To top it all off, they each wanted a cup of hot chocolate, just as big and fluffy and sugary as Tsuna’s.

“This is Yoshi-kun.”  Tsuna patted the coffee maker’s top.  “Yoshi-kun is the one who deals with most of the day to day beverages.  There are others to support him during feeding frenzy hours of course, but Yoshi-kun is the full-time worker while the others can be considered part-time contractors.  Not to say that they don’t do as good of a job, but…” Tsuna shrugged. “The rest are only needed at certain times and some are specialists who’s products aren’t suited everyone’s tastes.”

Tsuna’s explanation was delivered with a completely straight face and to the boys’ credit they didn’t do more than give the pink coffee maker a curious glance.

“Thank you Yoshi-kun~!”

Ren was more than willing to play along it seemed.  Then again, according to his brother, their neighbor actually had reputation for being insane.

“Thanks Yoshi-kun.”

Ahh…this was really good hot chocolate.  It would have been better with milk, but considering the fact that it was being made in a coffee maker, that wasn’t an option.

Rein gave a subtle more sincere nod to Yoshi-kun when Tsuna’s back was turned and the light glinting off its silver rims brightened for a few moments…he really was still sleepy. 

“Yoshi-kun says you’re welcome.” 

“What?” 

Ren was watching in interest.  Rein half-hearted attempts to get a rise from their patient neighbor had failed and now Crazy-Tsuna seemed to be on the counter-attack.  Whether he was doing it deliberately or not remained to be seen.

The foreign smells of tamagoyaki and broiled salted salmon were starting to make his mouth water.  Crazy-Tsuna was still focused on the cooking food in front of him, stirring miso soup with one hand even as he sprinkled some sort of seasoning on top of the salmon. 

“How do you know that?”

“I can see him twinkling from here.”

“…”

“Don’t worry about it.  You’re not going crazy.  At this time of day, well…it’s just too early to bother.”

“…and yet you’re up.”

“And yet I’m up.” Tsuna agreed.  “Before the sun even.  There’s a reason I’m called crazy.  Fork or chopsticks?”

“Chopsticks,” said Ren even as Rein said “Fork.”

**“You don’t know how to use chopsticks yet.”**   Whispered Rein.

**“So?”**

“Crazy-Tsuna! Teach us how to use chopsticks.”  A part of Rein wanted to smack his brother on the head.  Another part wanted to smack his own.

At least the food was good and filling and Crazy-Tsuna was patient about showing them how to properly pick up food with the chopsticks even if it meant letting his own meal get cold.  Maybe he was one of those people who liked kids and wanted to work in a daycare or something.  If so, he really was crazy. 

“Done yet?”

Tsuna placed the last bowl on the drying rack, drained the sink and wiped down the counter.  The entire time, Ren had been sitting on his shoulders and peppering him with random questions to which the man continued to answer good-naturedly.

“Yep.  Ready to finish that book?”

“Yeah!  Rein!  Wake up and come with us.”

With a sigh, the elder brother lifted his head off the table and followed the pair to the living room. 

* * *

“…zzzz…..zzzz…..”

“He stayed up late last night.  I think he was in the middle of soldering something and lost track of time.”

On one end of the shorter couch that Ryohei usually slept on, Ren sat on Tsuna’s lap with the same book from the day before propped up by the man’s longer arms.  His brother was clutching another English book in his arms.  Cartridges of the World:13th Edition by Frank C. Barne. 

On the end table next to him were a couple tech manuals and some university level books on physics and engineering that actually belonged to Gokudera, but seeing as Tsuna had needed some references for a story, his friend had been all too willing to lend them and hadn’t bothered to take them back yet.

Réincarné was actually sleeping on top of a few more and Tsuna carefully set Ren down so he could tug them out.  At least two were hard covers and he was sure that it couldn’t be comfortable to have the edges digging into his side like that.  Gunsmithing-the AR-15: Volume 2 by Patrick Sweeney.  Standard Catalog of Smith & Wesson:3rd Edition by Jim Supica. 

“I take that he likes guns?”

“Kinda.  He’s more into things like computers and costume designing, but everyone in our family learns how to shoot early on and considering English is the most well-known and widely used language in the world, we had to learn that too.  I think he’s trying to build something to hide them on himself.”

“Hmm.  That’s logical.  I learned English so that I’d be able to access a wider variety of research materials.  Guns are technically illegal in Japan though, so if he’s going to use them, it’d make sense to find a way to keep it under wraps.  The main people you’ll find using them are usually yakuza.  Then again this is Namimori.  You should be able to get away with pretending it’s a water gun.  Most people won’t look too hard or they just don’t know enough to tell a real one from a fake.”

Tsuna replaced Cartridges of the World with a pillow and tugged the decorative blanket hanging on the back of the couch over the boy.

“You don’t seem to be bothered by this.”

Tsuna jabbed a thumb in the direction of the house to the right of his.

“One of the next door neighbors likes to use dynamite.  Someone else I know has been playing with grenades since he was five and I’ve yet to meet a gun-wielder more frightening than a teenager who uses collapsible tonfas to deflect bullets.”

“Then you haven’t met my other brothers yet.”

“…I’m going to be scarred for life aren’t I.”

“Maybe.  We’ll see how you deal with Rein once he wakes up and give you an estimate before we go home.”

“Well until that happens, want to finish this book?” 

Grinning, Ren hopped back onto Tsuna’s lap and made himself comfortable.  Before long he fell asleep too. 

Tsuna bookmarked their place and set the heavy book aside.  He continued running his fingers through Ren’s spiky hair even after he had slowly lulled the toddler into slumber.  The sun had just begun to rise and the unnervingly realistic eyes of the banana slug hat continued to stare at him from their place the coffee table. 

He dug out a white remote from between the cushions and with a bit of button pushing, turned off the lights in the room.  Another push had thick curtains sliding themselves over his windows and backdoors.  Orange light was still peaking in through the edges, but the room was much darker now.

Tsuna tilted his head back with a sigh as he carefully cradled the sleeping child.

“It’s still way too early.”

“That’s what I said.”

The man glanced over to where Réincarné was sitting up and yawning. 

“But Ren really wanted to come.”

He shuffled over until he was slumped against Tsuna’s side.  The black bomber jacket had been abandoned at the other end of the couch along with a wide leather tool belt, but the blanket had been dragged over.  Something hard was pressed into Tsuna’s ribs.

“Try anything funny and I’m going to tase you.”

“Noted.”

“I’m not kidding.  It’s a real taser.”

“I know.  Trust me.  I’ve been on the business end of one enough times to tell.  The both of you probably have some sort of device that’s beyond my comprehension to negate it so I’m the only one who’s going to get hurt right?”

Rein sleepily blinked up at him.

“How did you know that?”

“Intuition.”

Rein’s nose twitched in a way that reminded Tsuna of how most people would usually crinkle their noses in annoyance. 

“Doesn’t anything bother you?”

“Too early remember?”

“…”

The taser was removed and Rein sighed even as he snuggled up to the man.  It was frustrating how sensible Crazy-Tsuna was.

“Yeah.  Too early.”

* * *

Of all the stupid things to do.  When Rein woke up, he wanted to kick himself for letting himself go like that, but then Crazy-Tsuna had started running his fingers through his hair and Rein had caved like a wet paper bag.  Out of the four of them, Rein was the only one who really craved for a mother’s touch. 

Renacido’s mother had dumped him on Reborn with her dying breath when she realized that she wasn’t going to survive the birth and the man who knocked her up wasn’t around.  As far as Ren was concerned, Reborn was both his father and mother.

Rinato’s taught him that life was cruel and the people in it could be crueler still.  He had no desire to ever even think about, much less see her again. 

Reborn’s had stuck around long enough to teach him how to fall in love with guns before disappearing. Or maybe Reborn had been taken away by their father.  Same thing in the end.  He never saw her again.

Only Rein had any real desire for his back, but she was gone now too.  Maybe it was for the best.  After all, he wouldn’t be with his brothers if he was still with her, but that didn’t mean that he didn’t miss her.

And as for their mutual father…well, there was a reason Reborn had custody of all of them.

“Mmm hmm.  Fine. I’ll be over in soon.”

Hanging up the phone, Tsuna clapped his hands together.  “How do you boys feel about sushi for lunch?  A friend ordered some, but she’s a little shorthanded today and can’t spare anyone to get it so she asked me to pick up the order for her.  We can get some for ourselves while we’re there.”

Rein didn’t need to open his menu to know that it had a huge section listed just for Japan’s iconic food.

Ren took his usual place on Tsuna’s shoulders.

“How do you rank this sushi place Crazy-Tsuna?”

“I could be a bit biased, but I think Takesushi is the best in Namimori.  The Yamamotos have been here for as long as I can remember and it’s owned by a friend’s dad.”

“For a crazy guy, you seem to have a lot of friends.” Rein quipped.

Tsuna smiled even as he snorted in amusement.

“That’s because we’re all considered crazy here.”

* * *

“Tsuna!  Good to see you again!  Really.  You should come by more often.”

“Sorry Yamamoto-san.  I’ve been a bit busy lately.”

“Ah yes.  Takeshi did say something about that.  And who are these boys?”

“My new neighbors.  I’m here to get lunch for the three of us and pick up Haru’s order.” 

“Miura right? I’m almost done.  In the meantime, here.”  Tsuyoshi handed some menus to Tsuna and the children.  “On the house.”

“Yamamoto-san! I can pay-“

“But I can’t.  I can’t ever repay what you’ve done for me and Takeshi, so please let this old man indulge in the only way he can.”

Tsuna’s eyes softened, understanding and almost unbearably gentle.

“You’ve been indulging for over a decade now Yamamoto-san.”

“And hopefully, I’ll be indulging you for a few more.  Now if you don’t pick something, I’m going to fill up the biggest tray I have with the most expensive items on that menu.”

Several minutes after the trio had left the small restaurant, Tsuna heaved a great sigh.

“Are you going to ask what that was about?”

Ren tugged a lock of soft brown hair.

“We aren’t that insensitive.”

“You weren’t going to say anything even if we did were you?” It wasn’t a harsh accusation.  Just matter of fact like everything else that came out of Rein’s mouth.

“Probably.”  Tsuna checked both sides of the road before leading them across the street.  “I may have been involved, but it’s really not my story to tell.  You’ll have to ask Yamamoto Takeshi about it.”

“The sushi man’s son?”  Ren guessed.  “Your friend?”

“The one and only.  He’ll be back from training camp soon.  In the meantime, there are plenty of other people to meet and places to see.  Like this one.”

The tall concrete walls had been hiding a gated parking lot in front of a building that looked a giant tree.  A giant tree with a canopy of sakura flowers for the roof.  How they had missed such a thing, neither child knew, but it was incredible.

In bright bold characters, ‘Springtime Theater’ was plastered across the middle.  It had been engraved and painted into the wall just above the doorway.  The building’s ‘trunk’ was painstakingly designed to mimic actual tree bark, but certain sections had been ‘peeled’ away and filled with lively murals and fantastic sculpted scenes stretching from corner to corner.  

Tsuna didn’t give them much time to take in the sights however.  There would be time for that later.  Right now, they had lunch to deliver.

* * *

“Hahi!  Tsuna-kun! It’s so good to se-WHERE DID YOU GET THAT?!”

Haru’s greeting switched to a screech midsentence startling both boys into a defensive stance.  Sort of.  One of Rein’s hands had slipped inside the sleeve of his jacket, no doubt fiddling with some sort of tool that would be hazardous to a normal human’s health and he retreated behind the man to make use of the too short and too skinny, but still viable meat shield that was Crazy-Tsuna.  Ren chose instead to try to strangle his ride with his legs and yank on his hair rather painfully, but Tsuna didn’t even flinch.

“It’s not mine and lunch first Haru.  We haven’t eaten yet and neither have you nor your employees.”

Ren peeked out from behind Tsuna’s hair and his hat’s stalks swayed with the movement. 

“We can have introductions while we eat.”  Tsuna tone was steady as he noticed the creepy and slight manic gleam that was beginning to consume his friend’s eyes.  Her love of children and strange costumes made her a good person to introduce the boys to, but he wasn’t about to throw them into the piranha infested waters that was Haru’s obsession upon their first meeting.

“It’s so cute!  He’s so cute!  They’re so cute!”

“Lunch Haru. Lunch.”  Tsuna managed to keep the squealing girl at arm’s length and gently but firmly marched her towards the back.  “They’re growing boys and they need their nutrition.  You don’t want to deprive these sweet _sweet_ children of that would you?”

Sure he was laying it on a little thick, but this was manic Haru.  Every little bit counted.  Tsuna gestured to them and to their credit, both boys instantly adopted a shy innocent look.  They had to have practiced that before.

Haru gasped. “Hahi! Of course not! Where are my manners?  Miura Haru, owner of the Springtime Theater at your service desu~.”  She swept into a theatric bow and Tsuna cringed a bit as she pushed a hidden button that launched several fake fluttery bats and streamers out of the box strapped to her back.

Ren giggled into his hair quietly while Rein gave him a considering look.  Despite his unreliable appearance, Crazy-Tsuna ended up making an admirable and effective meat shield after all.

* * *

It didn’t take long for the woman to hit it off with the boys once they found that they shared the same tastes and passion for cosplay.  Rein was even taking notes as they discussed materials and techniques and designs and how, where, and when the best time and place would be to buy supplies.

Granted, Rein and Ren had sent her odd looks when Haru preached about how she loved children and babies, especially babies, because of their pure and innocent hearts.  Tsuna shrugged and signaled for them to go with it while he interjected at timely moments to subtly derail her building excitement.

“And this is the central stage!”  Haru led them onto it from the back.  She was taking them through a tour of her pride and joy and loving every moment of it.

“We have two other smaller stages, and several smaller rooms for things like shadowgraphy or regular puppets but the biggest most popular shows get put on here! 

The stages are sometimes rented out to other organizations, but since this is my theater, I get to decide who and when they can come because I’ve got plays that I want to perform in too!

Every single play we use is an original copyrighted work that manages to give us enough leeway to make adjustments if needed, but are the best when performed with a full cast and interactive audience.  A lot of hard work goes into these productions, but we never fail to have a full house when it’s time.  Right now there are new stories being read and we’re in the process of picking out which ones will be made into screenplays.”

“So who writes the stories then?”

“Why your very own dashingly handsome neighbor of course.  Tsuna-kun desu~!”  She twirled around and began walking backwards while managing to avoid every single cable and stray prop that littered the floor. 

“Hahi! I wasn’t supposed to say that so just keep it a secret okay?”  Haru winked at them and Tsuna sighed as the boys watched him with curiosity.

Ren stood on Tsuna’s shoulders and let himself hang over the man’s head until they were eye to eye. 

“Reference materials right?” 

“All those books make sense now.  I was wondering why you had so many random topics.” Rein was probably still thinking about how the cupcake recipe books were right below chicken care and across from psychological profiles of famous criminals and common methods of torture in medieval Europe.

“Yeah.  Haru’s right though.  I don’t want to draw any more attention to myself, so don’t go spreading it to everyone and their aunt.”

“Are you really that good?  Or are you afraid of scaring away her customers?”  Because it certainly hadn’t escaped Rein’s notice of the way several townspeople had been warily watching Crazy-Tsuna and gossiping as soon as they thought he couldn’t hear.  The man continued on as polite and unflappable as ever. 

Not all of it was bad though.  Several seemed genuinely happy to see Crazy-Tsuna and no one questioned why he had two kids with him even though school hadn’t been let out yet.  Even the truant officer that had been trying to catch Ren for the last week and a half had simply let them go when Tsuna said that they were with him for the day.  He looked oddly relieved when the brunet mentioned something about personally dealing with a skylark, whatever that was supposed to mean. 

“Hahi!  If people knew just how amazing Tsuna-kun is, he’d have to fend off kidnapping attempts and marriage proposals left and right.  Why Tsuna-kun isn’t just an amazing writer, he can cook and clean and he’s great with kids…”

Tsuna proceeded to ignore her glowing commendations with the ease of long practice.  It was the best way to stave off the embarrassment but at least she didn’t try to grovel at his feet like Hayato used to.

“…and he looks wonderful in a dress!  All he needs now is the ability to give birth to beautiful, beautiful babies and a sexy loving husband and he would become the perfect wife and mother to any family!”

“…”

Tsuna also ignored the way that Ren and Rein were taking her words entirely too seriously even as they snickered and made subtle (or not so subtle) jabs at him about it.  His intuition was ringing faintly, but Tsuna gave no indication that he could feel the undercurrents of troublesome ideas swirling around him.  Whatever these boys were planning would not be just a simple prank.  It was going to be big and traumatizing and absolutely chaotic as well and Tsuna was still going to bake cookies with them later.

He really was too nice.

* * *

“I’d probably be a lot more disturbed if I haven’t been listening to these discussions at least twice a month for several years now.  For some reason, all my friends find this what-if-Tsuna-was-a-girl topic to be fun to debate over and they do so with great relish whenever it comes up.  It’s the same conversation rehashed over and over and no one has ever gotten tired of it.”

Rein snorted while he continued to sort out any unsuitable fruit from the bowls that Tsuna had washed earlier.

“Bet that makes you feel manly.”

“They even like to come up with my hypothetical children.” Lamented Tsuna. “Like if I gave birth this man’s or that woman’s child.  For some reason, I’m the one that has to give birth even if my imaginary spouse ends up being a girl.  Do I really seem that girly?...that’s a rhetorical question Ren.”

Ren giggled even as he spread parchment paper over the kitchen counter.

“And you know what the worst part of this all is?”  The sheer misery emanating from his slumped figure had the brothers stopping their assigned tasks to entirely focus on him.  “The one who encourages them the most even when they’re doing a perfectly good job of emasculating me on their own is my own mother!  She loves to join in and brings snacks and tea while everyone else discusses impossible things about my physiology.  Is nothing sacred anymore?” The last bit came out as a despairing groan.

Rein had just enough presence of mind to shove a bowl of strawberries out of the way before putting his head down and laughing until he had tears in his eyes.  Ren wasn’t much better off.

So maybe he had had to put a little extra drama into his rant, but those were really his true feelings on his situation.  Most importantly, he finally got Rein to loosen up.  Seeing the bright grin on the rather apathetic boy’s face was more than worth the potential embarrassment that was sure to come eventually.

* * *

Eventually Rein got antsy.  He was muttering quietly to himself and occasionally pacing or reviewing the copious amount of notes that he had taken.  Tsuna had even given him a couple of extra notebooks to write down everything from the recipe for the cookies they had just made to the list of the books that he wanted to read the next time he came back.

Ren pouted as Tsuna returned from other room. His mother had called and wanted Tsuna to come to her house for dinner that night.  As soon as the man finished cleaning up the kitchen, he was going to leave.

 “Rein’s going to be up all night building stuff and then he’s going to be cranky.  I only got him to agree to show up this morning because I told him that you’d give him free food.”

“You can come back tomorrow.” Tsuna promised.  “I’ll still be here and there’ll be more free food.”

The toddler began to sulk.  He didn’t want to leave yet.

Tsuna smiled and picked him up.  He gently bumped foreheads with Ren.  “I’m glad that you like it here so much, but Rein needs his tools and his workshop or secret laboratory or the Batcave or wherever it is that he works in to build you that robotic attack pigeon that can poop on command.”

Noticing that Rein had stopped pacing in favor of watching them, Tsuna swept him up into a hug as well before he could escape.

“You’re more than welcome to come back too Rein.  I’ve got a little brother around your age.  He’s pretty good with chemistry and has more technological know-how than me which isn’t saying much, but still.  Maybe when you meet him, the both of you can come up with a robotic attack pigeon that can poop explosives on command…just don’t tell him I said that alright?  I spent years trying to teach him when was and wasn’t an appropriate time to throw bombs at people and I don’t want to undo everything that I went through so much work for.”

Sniggering, Rein let himself hug the man back and marvel over how Crazy-Tsuna felt even warmer than his mother.

“Alright.”

* * *

Both of the kids had gone home, hopping over their shared fence and loaded down with cookies.  Idly, Tsuna wondered if he should have a slide installed for them.  It might make things more fun, but would it get in the way?

Tsuna lived in an upper middle class neighborhood.  While not big enough to have actual mansions there, it was a much bigger property than his old house where his mother still lived and even bigger than his last place which had… _best not to go there._ Tsuna sighed.

The end result was that he actually had a yard big enough to have a small playground on it.  And THE trampoline.

Tsuna may own one of the strongest trampolines in Namimori, but there was a reason for it.  A part of him was looking forward to seeing the kids’ faces when they found out what it was actually for.  He had the sneaking suspicion they’d be using it for its true purpose soon enough. 

Despite the fact that firearms were illegal in Japan, Tsuna knew a gun holster when he saw one. Even if it had been modified to be part of an all-purpose tool belt.

Rein’s hands were just like Gokudera’s as a child.  Long slender fingers that belied a surprising strength and could be welded with all the precision of an experienced surgeon.  There were also telling callouses and the slight discoloration of fingertips that clearly had been involved in some sort of (dangerous) chemical or high heat.  Most likely both.  Tsuna would bet his entire kitchen’s worth of coffee beans that Ren’s would be no different by the time he was his brother’s age.

Fingers gently trailing along a row of books in his bedroom, he plucked one out without looking. 

_Flames of Resolution: Fiery Skies_

Flipping to the Character Profile page, he trailed his eyes down until they landed on a particular name.

**R. E. Born** \- Usually just called Reborn.  One of the members of a mysterious group known as the Arcobaleno.  He is cursed into the form of a two year old child, but clearly still retains much of his power and skill.  Brilliant, but sadistic, he toys with those around him, yet still manages to bring out the best (although some would argue otherwise) in those who he finds worthy of his attention.  

The sun was setting now, an orange glow shining through Tsuna’s window and lighting up his eyes.  Tsuna didn’t notice, too caught up in his swirling thoughts to see how much he looked like a certain character’s Hyper Dying Will mode in that faint reflection.

* * *

“So what have you been up to lately?”

Renacido looked up from his latest book to observe his older brother, Rinato.  The springy tentacles of his banana slug hat waved with the movement.

“Around.  Meeting the neighbors.” 

He shrugged his tiny shoulders and went back to his book.  Brown satiny tentacles bobbing about as he did so.

“The school called.  Again.  They said that you keep disappearing without telling anyone where you’re going.  You’re worrying them.”

Réincarné snorted as he bit into a cookie held in one hand while the other was busy sketching out new designs for one thing or another.  It looked like a bird of some sort.  A pigeon.

“They’re only worried about their reputation if anyone finds out that they haven’t actually managed to keep him from getting away from them.  They’re not really concerned about anything else.”

“They’re stupid.” Agreed Ren.  He leisurely flipped a page, making sure to wipe his fingers on a damp baby wipe first so as not to dirty the book with oil and crumbs.  “They just started on numbers and names of the days and months.  The adults spend more time cooing like idiots at the others instead of correcting their grammatical structures.”

“They also said that you don’t seem to be fitting in well with the other kids.”

“Stupid.”  Ren reiterated, this time not even look up from the pages as he helped himself to another cookie.  “Reborn won’t care.”

“If they keep interrupting him while he’s working then he will.  You can’t stay at home by yourself until one of us gets back and you can’t cook.”

“Then make me something that I can microwave.”

Rinato didn’t even bring up the point about his youngest brother’s description of his classmates.  He understood it all too well.  Geniuses didn’t always fit in well with normal people.  Child prodigies were looked at with awe, jealousy, greed, resentment and sometimes just a bit of fear.  Unfortunately, Renacido hadn’t learned how to deal with these kinds of things yet.  He knew several ways to incapacitate full grown adults many times his size and he was smart enough to know that he couldn’t do these things to any would-be bullies without more severe consequences.  So the toddler tended to ignore and avoid others. 

However, Rinato knew that his little brother couldn’t avoid these issues for the rest of his life.  He needed to learn how to socialize with people in general.  Réincarné had done so, was still learning in fact.  Now it was Renacido’s turn to start, but he was being quite adamant against it. 

“The world is populated with these stupid people.  That’s why you’re going to school you know.  To learn how these idiots interact and how to use them to your own advantage.  If you don’t like them, then find a way to tear them down.”  Because all of them were manipulative assholes with streaks of mischief and sadism running through their half Italian-or in Reborn and Rinato’s case, full Italian-blood. 

“‘Sides.  You never know when you’ll run into someone interesting.  I know I did.”  A smirk played across Rinato’s face. “There’s this guy at school.  He’s a pretty persistent fellow.  I never would have guessed that a quiet town like this would have such a beast guarding it.  He’s always so serious too.” The smirk was downright evil now. “I’m going to have fun with this one.  By the way, where did you get these cookies?  They any good?”

“Of course they are.  They’re my favorite and I have good taste.”  Rinato fixed Ren with an unimpressed look to which the four-year-old replied with an amused smirk.

“I thought your favorite was biscotti ai pinoli.”

“It is.  This is my other favorite now.  They’re called Butterfly Brooches.”  He pushed the box over to his brother who took one and turned it around curiously.

Rin took a closer look at the cookie in his hand.  Two small Elephant Ear cookies were pressed together to form the ‘wings’ of the butterfly.  Small bits of fruit and nuts were placed on top to make the patterns and the entire thing was glazed with a layer of golden honey making the ingredients below shine like jewels.  Rin could see pine nuts decorating many of them.  Of course.

Renacido had an addiction to pine nuts.  Well, it wasn’t like he could say anything.  At least it was healthier than Reborn’s coffee addiction.  Rein was obsessed with anything that involved any sort of berry and Rin found himself spending nearly as much money on honey as Reborn did for high quality coffee.

In fact…this was good honey.  Rinato took a deep whiff and eyes widening in surprise.  Corsican honey. 

His dark eyes lit up as he eagerly bit into it.  A lesser man would have swooned at the explosion of flavors in his mouth.  As it was, Rin only sighed dreamily and reached for another.

* * *

“Save some for Reborn.  I mean it Rin.  And you’ll make yourself sick if you eat anymore Ren.”

With a wistful sigh, Rinato mournfully closed the box and handed it over to Réincarné.  Renacido pouted, but didn’t argue back.

“Like you’re any better when it comes to macaroons, Rein.”

“That’s why I have you guys to stop me.”  He set the box on the kitchen counter and put a black expresso cup and plate on top.  Reborn was scrawled elegantly around it in gold lettering.  It served the duo purpose of letting Reborn know that not only was this for him, it was now off limits to everyone else unless Reborn himself agreed to let them have more.

“Where did you get them?  I’m gonna have to buy some myself.”

“You can’t buy it.  They aren’t for sale yet.”

“Then where did you get them?”

“Sawada Tsunayoshi.”

“The neighbor?”

“We like him.”

“…”

Rin took the moment to study his younger siblings.

“Both of you?”

“He’s a good cook, has lots of books, and likes being with other crazy people.”  Ren had put away his book and was back to gesturing wildly.  Tiny arms waving amidst the bobbing tentacles sprouting from his hat.

“In other words, he’d make a good mother.  He’s got the patience to put up with the both of us at the same time _without_ being overwhelmed.”  Here Rein crossed his arms and huffed a little.  “He said on a scale of one to ten with ten being the worst, together, we only ranked a four-point-seven on his meter of chaos causers.  I know we were being pretty tame today, but still…”

“Crazy-Tsuna says that we’ve got potential though.  Rein’s just annoyed because Tsuna gave him a score of three-point-three by himself today.”

_‘Crazy-Tsuna huh?’_   Rin mused. 

Ren was a handful at the best of times and a walking disaster at the worst.  Dealing with him required near endless patience and good humor.

Rein had built wall of apathy that separated him from others.  If he didn’t feel anything, then the malicious words and actions of others couldn’t hurt him.  He wasn’t a very trusting person and tended to ward off others with threats.

Rin himself preferred to go for the charmingly cruel route.  An attractive smile that gave no hint to the utter despair that others would soon be feeling because he would tear them down before they had a chance to do the same to him. 

Reborn was all about seduction and danger and self-assured confidence that came with success.  He was the top dog and only fools would challenge him.

Crazy-Tsuna had managed to win over two of the youngest siblings and it had only taken a single day for each one.  Even just one of the brothers would have been enough to involve the rest of the family.  He really had to have been something.  A Maggiore just didn’t take to people like that.

“So what kind of crazy is this Crazy-Tsuna?”

Rein and Ren looked at each other and shared a conspiratorial smile.

**“Crazy awesome.”**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tsuna does not have a stable job, yet he's living more comfortably than most people just because he has so many people handling the burden of his daily living expenses for him. The last thing most people would want for him to do is leave as they feel their town's continued 'peaceful' existence depends on him being in good standing. As for why he's getting money from Hibari's parents…well that's a story for another day.
> 
> I have a great deal of love for some of my OCs. Most of them only exist to have plot/character development happen to canon characters, but some of them are truly fun to write about. Yoshi-kun is one of them. Yes. Tsuna's pink coffee maker is an official, albeit minor, OC in this story now.
> 
> Despite the fact that all the Reborns only share the same father, they are all a very close bunch. Be prepared for lots of future fluff with them. Also, they can be a little full of themselves and enjoy being jerks to people they don't like as well as people they do like. Actually, they just enjoy being jerks to people in general.
> 
> Pignoli Cookies or biscotti ai pinoli- An Italian cookie made from almond flour, sugar, egg whites and whole pine nuts. (see Pignolo on Wikipedia)
> 
> Elephant Ears(also called Angel Wings, Palmier, Palm Tree, Palm Leaves or in my family's case, Butterfly Cookies)-Simple puff pastry cookies with caramelized sugar on top.


	6. The Teen Who Likes to Destroy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This isn’t really a mafia story by the way although there might be some mention of it. Just Tsuna and co. being normal (or not so normal) civilians who tend to tread the fine lines of legality…or outright ignore them.

“Japanese”

**_“English”_ **

* * *

There was something about this teenager that brought several of Tsuna’s friends to mind.  Takeshi’s well hidden ruthlessness for one.  Kyoya’s not so well hidden bloodlust for another. Most of prevalent all was Mukuro’s distrustful slyness and way of classifying you for your value as a tool.  And while each trait wasn’t quite as defined as in each of his friends, all of it simmered together under the façade of genial courtesy and attractive looks.

Ren had made an offhand comment about being the youngest of four yesterday.  With the way each sibling that appeared seemed to be more and more dangerous, Tsuna was a bit apprehensive about meeting the oldest.  Would he be a devil in disguise?

“Hello.  I’m your neighbor, Maggiore Rinato.” 

Rinato’s Japanese was flawless, but inflected with enough of a foreign accent to give him an exotic edge. 

“I’ve heard that you’ve been taking care of my brothers.  I know that they can be a handful.”

He really was handsome too.  All dark eyes and wild dark hair.  And those ridiculous curly sideburns that Ren and Rein both possessed.  It had to be genetic.

“Thank you for being so patient with them.”  He bowed a little and stepped closer into Tsuna’s personal bubble.

So charming and polite with overtones of flirtatiousness and danger. 

But Tsuna was by far more experienced with attractive geniuses who also happened to be semi-adjusted dangerously sadistic psychopaths.

First impressions weren’t everything, but they had a great impact on how consequent interactions would be perceived.  Thus Tsuna had made the first strike by preparing an outfit beforehand and doing what he did best.  Looking cute and fluffy and innocent.  Like an absolute herbivore as Kyoya had once said.  Tsuna was an omnivore in an herbivore’s clothing.  Literally.

His intuition had been badgering him since yesterday and kept Tsuna from having as good of a night’s rest as he had wanted.  The small vindictive streak in Tsuna that rarely had a chance to play reverberated with satisfaction at the fleetingly thrown expression on Rinato’s face when he had first laid eyes on him.  

Tsuna had spent several years running through Namimori in only his boxers.  Sometimes even less.  His adult sized caramel colored bunny onesie pajama was painstakingly designed and crafted by both Kyoko and Haru for maximum cuteness and comfort.  It was not even remotely embarrassing to be seen wearing this after what he had been through over the years. 

A tired-looking Rein stood by Rinato’s side and seemed to being falling sleep on his feet while Ren studied Tsuna’s pajamas with interest from atop Rin’s shoulders. Ren’s new hat was a rubber duck with a black fedora, tie, and eyes.  His family’s signature sideburns hung from the side of its head.

“Sorry.  I don’t have any-“ Tsuna yawned, turned his head a little, and clutched the edge of his too long sleeve to cover his mouth.  “Anything prepared right now.”  He sleepily rubbed at an eye, disregarding how one long ear the same color as his hair flopped forward from the hood still pulled over his head. 

“My mother just sent me a lot of food though so I can heat up an early breakfast and make you something to drink.”

He ushered the trio in and closed the back door. 

“Way too early.”  Grumbled Rein. 

“If you had gone to bed when I did, then you wouldn’t be so tired.”

“If you had waited until _sunrise_ , _then_ I wouldn’t be so tired,” he shot back at Ren.

Tsuna smiled and gently ruffled Rein’s hair, causing the boy to lean into his touch.  Ren hopped off Rinato’s shoulder and onto Tsuna who was glad that his onesie was so baggy.  That meant that it wouldn’t choke him later when Ren inevitably decided that he wanted to share it. 

Then Tsuna tilted his head to Rinato, still sleepy eyed, still soft and squishy, still deceptively harmless and smiled just as gently at him as he had with his brother.

There was a panther lurking behind those glittering ebony eyes.  A young, but true carnivore.  However, Rinato, dangerous as he was, was only part of whatever his little brothers had planned and that the teen himself wasn’t exactly aware of it. 

_‘Hyper Intuition.  How I love thee.’_   Ignorance was bliss, but Tsuna had been through too much to not appreciate its uses.  Even if he would have been perfectly happy not having a clue about what his friends liked to think about him.

* * *

Rinato was staring at his butt.  Tsuna could tell even though he wasn’t looking.  That was fine.  The big pom pom that made his tail was rather eye-catching.

Now where was the bag of Robusta beans?  It seemed like he’d have to dig a bit deeper.

“Found it!”

Triumphantly, Tsuna crawled out of his cabinet and back into the light of the kitchen.  The fact that he could fit inside meant that he’d have to pay a visit to Mr. H to restock soon. 

“And the bunny emerges from his burrow.”  Rinato snarked.

Rein snickered.

Ren popped out as well, still holding the flashlight that he had been shining around for Tsuna. 

“It’s like Aladdin’s magic cave in there.  Only with coffee beans instead of gold.”

“You like coffee that much?”  Rinato had originally wanted a cappuccino and was more than ready to inflict condescending criticism disguised as suggestions for improvement depending on how much his requested drink would fail to match his standards.  Then Tsuna dumped graffiti covered binders with all sorts of blend and brew recipes in front of him and told him to pick whatever he wanted. He even gave him a list of the current types of beans that he had.

After selecting a suitably customized caffe’ latte brew, Rinato sat back and watched as Tsuna disappeared entirely into a cabinet with his youngest brother only to reemerge with a couple different bags of coffee beans.

“Actually, I don’t like coffee at all.  I prefer tea.” 

Rinato raised a disbelieving brow as he continued to flick through the binder.  Ooooh.  This one looked nice.  If Crazy-Tsuna turned out to be as good as Ren and Rein seemed to think he was, then he was definitely going to have to try out this one.  The instructions were clear and precise and very very specific about everything from the ratio of the beans to mix, to the type of roast and even how finely they needed to be grinded. He might have to copy some of these for himself. 

Reborn usually preferred a heavy roasted espresso without any other additions, but Rinato enjoyed experimenting no matter how much his brother would shake his head over whatever he didn’t consider true coffee.  Tch.  He could be such a coffee snob.

“Then why do you have so many beans?” asked Ren.

“Well, for starters, other people who come here drink a lot of coffee and I need a wide variety to cater to their individual tastes and moods.”

Tsuna pushed aside what had seemed to simply be a decorative screen to reveal something huge covered by a sheet.  Pulling the sheet off revealed two large commercial grade espresso machines sitting on top of a shelf with a flowery cover.

“And after working with them for so long, the beans sort of grew on me until I came to like them too.  Not as much as my former boss though.”

Then he flipped up the cover to reveal two lower shelves with at least three stainless steel burr grinders and a whole host of different coffee makers.  The man frowned for a moment but selected two grinders and dropped the sheet.

“Where on earth is Shii-chan?  She loves it when people ask for caffe’ lattes.”

Dropping the a third of the selected bean mix into one and the rest into the other, Tsuna switched them on and then started opening different drawers and even commandeered his flashlight back from Ren to return to the cave of beans.

“Is it the bunny ears?” he muttered to himself.  Then Tsuna groaned and face palmed.  “Of course it’s the bunny ears.”

Then Tsuna spun around. 

“Sorry Shii-chan, but we have guests and it’s not polite to keep them waiting.  I’ll play hide ‘n seek with you next time.  Yoshi-kun.  Where’s Shii-chan?” 

Rinato stared.  He didn’t realize that when Ren and Rein had called their neighbor crazy, they actually meant it.  Following Crazy-Tsuna’s gaze to the pink and silver coffee maker, he had to blink his eyes a couple of times when a line of light seemed to slide across a silver edging and jump to another corner without crossing the pink side.  …What?

“Too early Rin.  Don’t think too hard about it.”

Rinato looked down at his younger brother who waggled a few fingers in the mimicry of a wave and then at the coffee maker who twinkled back brightly.

Ren waved to Yoshi-kun as well and received another twinkle for his efforts.

“Crazy-Tsuna and Yoshi-kun made us hot chocolate yesterday,” he said as if that would explain everything.

“…”

The scrape of a chair over the tiles brought their attention back to the brunet who was standing on it to open an upper pantry door next to the refrigerator.

He pushed aside a container of cornstarch and smiled even as he chided whoever or whatever Shii-chan was supposed to be.

“There you are.  How did you get back there?  No matter.  We’ve got a custom order for caffe’ latte recipe #186 using espresso brew #234.”

Shii-chan turned out to be a single cup moka pot that was barely eight inches tall but could make a mean cup of espresso.  An electric milk frother that Crazy-Tsuna had called Khan-kun and dug out from behind a waffle iron whipped up the milk into microfoam and minutes later, the finished cup of caffe’ latte was set in front of Rinato complete with a quick, but no less charming design of a chibi bunny.

“Cute.” Rinato snorted even as he reappraised his initial estimate of the adorable bunny clad brunet.  Those weren’t the movements of an amateur coffee aficionado.  This was someone who had been honing his skill for years.  What’s more, Crazy-Tsuna had prepared it Italian style without question. 

Reborn would rarely stand for such a thing like latte art in his cup, but Rin didn’t mind at all as long as his drink was still hot if he wanted it hot and cold if he wanted it cold.

Now for the moment of truth. 

A sip and-and…Wow this was good.  Great even.  He wasn’t obsessed like Reborn, but he did enjoy a good brew and he had been expecting…what had he been expecting? 

“I want one too!  Make me one Crazy-Tsuna.”

“No.”  Rein interjected without lifting his head off the table.  “You’ve got too much energy as it is.  You don’t need caffeine.”

Before Ren could work himself into a tantrum, Tsuna smoothly cut in with two cups of hot finely frothed milk for them.

Using chocolate syrup a fedora was sketched out with two curly sideburns on top.  The same fedora that Ren’s rubber duck hat was wearing.  Except the little chocolate hat was being worn by a little chocolate Ren head.  Rein, on the other hand, got a pigeon eyeing the heads of unsuspecting people below.

“Pfffffft.” The boy buried his head in his arms as he tried to stop laughing.  His exhaustion probably making it much funnier than it really was.

“Robot attack pigeon!”  cheered Ren.

Rinato eyed his brothers with an odd expression.  Then he remembered the pigeon blueprints Rein had been slaving over all night.

“Do you have enough energy for a quick breakfast?”

Rein looked up still snickering as he agreed, completely relaxed and trusting.

Following breakfast which was just as good as his coffee, Tsuna carried a still babbling Ren and gently guided a nearly catatonic Rein along to the living room.  He looked back just once, still smiling that warm gentle smile.  Then something changed.

Crazy-Tsuna was still warm.  Crazy-Tsuna was still gentle.  Crazy-Tsuna was still smiling.  But Crazy-Tsuna was nowhere near as harmless as he appeared and he was letting Rin know it.

_Oh._ From the very beginning, it had been Rinato who was being pulled along Crazy-Tsuna’s pace.  The pace was so slow going and easy and smooth that he hadn’t even noticed.  The moment Crazy-Tsuna had answered the people knocking on his back door at an ungodly hour in the morning in his adorably childish pajamas, he had been in control and remained in control. 

Apathetic Rein was showing off all sorts of positive emotions and wild child Ren was nearly tamed.

Crazy-Tsuna was only allowing Rin to see this other side to him for a reason.   Either as a gesture of good will or for part of some overreaching plan that involved him, the bunny clad brunet barista was extending a hand of friendship to Rin without having to pretend to be something that he wasn’t.

“Coming?”

Rin acknowledged the extra quirk of his neighbor’s smile with a smirk of his own.

Crazy-Tsuna was something indeed.  Rinato could feel the familiar dark feelings of excitement brewing from within.  He couldn’t wait to tear him apart.

* * *

Rinato woke up to the familiar weight of warm bodies lying against him. 

Blinking his eyes open, Rin looked down to see Rein curled against him.  Turning his head to the side revealed Ren just as fast asleep.  That was normal.  They sometimes ended up sleeping together in a puppy pile because everyone was either too tired or comfortable to move. 

But why was his bed moving?  Up and down.  Up and down. With the steady rhythm of a beating heart as a backdrop.   It was rather firm actually like a nicely muscled body that wasn’t overly bulky.  Oh.  Reborn…but Reborn wasn’t back yet...

Tilting his head back, Rinato stared up into the peacefully slumbering face of Sawada Tsunayoshi.   That’s who he and Ren were sleeping on.  What had happened?

Rein had passed out almost as soon as he was seated.  Crazy-Tsuna sat down with Ren in his lap to read him more of some English butterfly and moth book and Rin settled down with one of the gun books that had been set aside for Rein from yesterday with his little brother tucked into his side. 

Then Ren wanted to Crazy-Tsuna to sit next to Rinato as well and so the pair had relocated to the longer couch.  The warm milk, full belly, and Crazy-Tsuna’s soothing voice had Ren falling asleep soon after. 

Even with the caffeine from earlier, Rinato hadn’t been able to keep himself from falling under the spell Crazy-Tsuna wove because really.  Ren liked to wake up before anyone else, even Reborn, and he usually wanted company much to his brothers’ disgruntlement.  That the brunet could get him to fall back asleep so quickly was a miracle in its own right. 

His internal clock told him that it was 10:42 am.  A much more reasonable time to be awake rather than 4:32 in the morning.

 Oh yeah.  He was late for school. Rin mentally shrugged.  Oh well.  That testy skylark would just have to do without him for the day.  This couch was so comfortable and wide, it could have been a bed just disguised as a couch.  Maybe it was.  The length alone showed that it was obviously custom made. 

The view certainly wasn’t too bad either.  Crazy-Tsuna may be genuinely crazy, but he was also cute.  Very cute.  How old was he anyway?

He only looked mature enough to be just out of jail bait range, although with a face like that…shit. Shitshitshitshitshitshit.

He was sleeping with a complete stranger and it wasn’t even the fun way.

The shift in breathing rhythm let Rin know that Crazy Tsuna was awake.  And really good at pretending he wasn’t.  If Rinato hadn’t been laying on him, he might have not been able to tell.

“I’m awake.  You don’t have to pretend.”

“Of course.” Tsuna pulled an arm out and yawned, looking as open and soft and more adorable than ever.

“Should have guessed.  You’re a rather playful one aren’t you. ” Tsuna smiled despite his obvious exasperation. “And much more dangerous than your brothers combined even if they do plan on building a flock of robot attack pigeons.  It’s a bit early to say for sure, but I’d give you a five-point-six.”

“Your meter of chaos causers?”

“Mmm hmm.  That’s only because right now you’re feeling pretty lax.  Once that pernicious streak of yours feels like acting up, I’ll have to bring you up to a six-point-nine.  Depending on how bad of a mood you are, it might even reach a seven-point-five.”

“…how long have you known?  Did my brothers say anything?”

“Since the moment I saw you.  If you’re planning to tase me, then at least let me strip first.  I like these clothes and I don’t want to mess them up.”

“…”

The movement a normal person would have passed off as a protective arm tightening around his brother was actually Rinato reaching for one of Rein’s tasers.

“Don’t bother Rin.”

Rein’s hand grabbed his wrist without ever opening his eyes.

“Crazy-Tsuna’s intuition is crazy good.  You probably have more dirt on him than he does on you right now and he’d probably be able to tell what you like to do in the bath.”

Rin narrowed his eyes and Tsuna’s intuition continued to spike with the teen’s whirling thoughts. 

“Managing fleets of bath toys with terrain made out of scented bubbles?” Tsuna guessed.  “You seem more like a shower guy to me unless you’re sharing with them.  In that case, you’d play war games in the hopes of teaching them strategy, patience and how not to cave under psychological pressure.  Ren seems to be the type to demand bubble baths but being so small, someone would have to stay with him.  Rein would probably just join in because it’ll take forever for the bathroom to be free if he had to wait for you to finish. 

You’re kind of cruel and very dangerous, but you clearly love your brothers.  It makes sense that you’d want to teach them out to outmaneuver any of those people you’ve managed to tick off.”  Tsuna sighed and gently ruffled Rinato’s hair with his free hand.  “You sadist.”  The teen was stiff as a board.

“…”

“Told you.” Rein muttered.

“I can play with you if you’d like, but I’m afraid I’m not very good at those sorts of games,” the brunet continued almost apologetically.  “I have some friends who are though.  You’ll meet them eventually and can judge whether they’d be better playmates.”

Tsuna didn’t really consider himself to be good at mind games, but at the same time he didn’t consider himself to be bad either.  Just average.  His friends would beg to differ, but as they weren’t there to oppose him...

“Don’t be too hard on him Rin.  He can make Ren go to sleep without resorting to drugs, bribes or blunt force trauma.  Do you really want to lose someone like that?”

“…”

Someone who will willingly put up with Ren and let everyone else get a few extra hours of sleep.  Not to mention the free food and coffee and…

Rinato looked at the sleeping toddler and then at the sleepy man who was somehow cradling them all despite his not so considerable size.

“How much do you charge for babysitting services?”

* * *

“So you write plays for a live theater huh?”

“Not often.  I write some short stories and my friend Haru and her employees pick which ones they’d like to perform.  Then some people start making scripts from it.  I usually end up helping out with that too.  I get a small percentage of the ticket sales, but what mostly happens is that I get free admission and can pretty much go anywhere or do anything I want inside.  Free food and drinks from the concession stands, free use of the employee lounge room and amenities, free-”

“Free costume modeling.”  Rein cut in.

Tsuna sighed. 

“Yeah.  That too.”

Rinato’s ebony eyes twinkled with interest.

“Oh?”

“We got to pick whatever costume we wanted and Haru made him put it on and then the make-up team came and did work on him too.”  Ren piped in.  “The pictures should be ready soon.  Crazy-Tsuna makes a really good Persephone.  He just needs a proper Hades to steal him away.”

Well if that wasn’t obvious, then Rin didn’t know what was.  Seriously?  Attempting to match-make for Reborn of all people?  Rein was watching with careful eyes and gave a slight nod when Tsuna wasn’t looking.  They were both in on it and wanted his consent did they? 

Crazy-Tsuna may be babysitter material, but Rin wasn’t so sure that he’d even be lover material no matter how cute he was.  Reborn tended to go for those with more sex appeal and maturity not barely above jail bait…although…those expert coffee making skills were a definite plus.  And if those cookies from yesterday were any indication of his culinary ability then that would definitely put him much _much_ higher in Rin’s book than Bianchi. 

Tsuna interrupted his musings with a rather pertinent question.

“Have you called your schools yet?  At least tell them that it’s a family emergency or something.  You could technically still show up for the afternoon classes, but it won’t be worth it for Ren and Rein since they’ll be let out earlier.”

Oh yeah.  School.  All three of them were skipping weren’t they?

“Do y-“

Whatever Rinato was about to say was cut off when Crazy-Tsuna suddenly snagged the front of his shirt and bodily heaved him over the table and into his lap.  He would have probably inflicted some sort of retribution on the brunet if the palpable aura of bloodlust and fury filling the room wasn’t originating from where he had just been sitting.

“Of all the schools you could have gone to.”  Tsuna sighed.  “Of course it had to be Namimori High.  Hello Kyoya.  Have you eaten yet?”

The steely eyed teen glowered at his latest irritant still being protectively cradled in the man’s arms, tonfas still extended from where he had attempted to strike the other boy down.

“He’s a guest and I don’t want you two to start a serious fight in here.  If anything happens to Yoshi-kun again…”

Hibari tensed, eyes sliding over to the innocuous pink coffee maker who twinkled a greeting to him.  With a growl, he tucked away his weapons, but continued to glare at Rinato.  Then he took in the little versions of the carnivorous teen that had been causing chaos in his school.  When Maggiore Rinato had failed to show up, Hibari checked his records for his personal information.  He then ordered Kusakabe to take over for the day because he had a very bad feeling about exactly why the foreigner would suddenly miss school when he had had a perfect attendance record so far.

“Tsunayoshi!  Tsunayoshi!”  The familiar high pitched chirp of Hibird floated over as the yellow puffball settled on Tsuna’s head.

“Hello to you too Hibird.  Want something to eat?”

“Lunch! Lunch!  Delicious~!”  Hibird trilled enthusiastically.  Then he turned to study Rein and Ren.  “Baby carnivore!  Baby carnivore!  Bite to death. Bite to _death~!_ ”

“Yes they are baby carnivores and no one is biting anyone to death in my kitchen.”

A steady growl continued to emanate from the fuming teen so Tsuna tilted his head, made his eyes as wide as they go and pleaded from the very bottom of his heart.

“Please Kyoya?” 

When those tense shoulders lowered, Tsuna knew he had won.  He really loved this bunny onesie.  It was just so soft and comfortable and people always put up far less of a fuss when he was wearing it.  Tsuna carefully did not think about the reasons that his intuition supplied him with for why it worked the way did.

With a final snarl, Hibari kicked a chair free and sat down in a massive sulk.

“I want hamburger steak and coffee.  Brew #18 with cardamom and ginger.” 

“Yes.  Yes.  I’ll be done in forty-five minutes and Yoshi-kun will make a nice hot cup for you.”

“Seriously.  What do you charge, because Kyo-chan here is completely whipped.”

The growling started up again and Tsuna looked down to where Rinato was still pressed against his chest.  He flicked the teen on the forehead taking the slightest satisfaction at the way the teen blinked in surprise.

“Stop provoking him so I can get lunch ready.  If you want to play so badly, take it outside.  Have you decided what you want Hibird?”

“Coconut milk!” chirped Hibird. Then he took a few more moments to think about what he wanted for lunch. **_“Fruit salad~.  Yummy~. Yummy~.”_**

“Have you been watching The Wiggles again?”

**_“Fruit salad~.  Yummy~. Yummy~…”_ **

Hibird proceeded to proudly sing the entire song to show Tsuna he had been diligently practicing his English alongside his master.  Kyoya refused to meet Tsuna’s embarrassingly understanding eyes.

* * *

Tsuna inwardly sighed. 

Once he had been assured that Hibari wasn’t interested in using his brothers as hostages or outlets for his frustration, Rinato had taken to hovering and flirting with Tsuna not unlike Mukuro just to get a rise from him. 

Ren and Rein surprisingly got some form of mild approval from Hibari.  Something about how baby carnivores needed to learn how to properly hunt first and that he wouldn’t really try to bite them to death before they had done so.  It was a massive improvement from his attitude to Lambo all those years ago.  Then again, the Maggiore siblings weren’t crybabies like Lambo either.

Tsuna had decided to change out of the bunny onesie despite the magical persuasive properties it carried because he didn’t feel like trying to get potential stains out if Kyoya decided that his coffee would be an acceptable sacrifice in a food fight.  Now he was just in a T-shirt and jeans with a purple hedgehog printed apron that Kyoya had got him for his birthday last year.  He hoped it would be enough.

“You must have been one hell of a tutor.  I thought the only thing Kyo-chan cared about was his precious school.”

“I maintain order throughout Namimori.  Anyone, herbivore or carnivore, who dares to disrupt it will be bitten to death.  No exceptions.”

“Oh?  Then what’s our sweet Tsuna- _chan_ here?  An herbivore or carnivore?”  He curled an arm around Tsuna’s waist smirking at the way Hibari looked ready to commit homicide, Tsuna’s warning or not.

“If blood gets on my grout, I’ll have the both of you personally replace my kitchen flooring.”  Tsuna cheerfully quipped while flipping the hamburgers on the stove.  “I’ll even pay for the materials myself, but the both of you will go through the entire process of tearing up the rest of the tiles, and replacing them by hand one by one.”

Rein and Ren sat back and watched in interest as Crazy-Tsuna made the very first threat they had ever heard him utter.  It seemed to be very effective with the way Hibari had gone completely still and Rinato was looking at the man in mild bafflement.

“Same for my walls, my furniture and anything else.  Food stains are one thing, blood is another.  The only thing I’ll make you pay in is labor, but I will make you _pay_.”  His tone was mild and there was no sound of anger or threat in it at all.

“Pay!  Pay!  Tsunayoshi will make you pay~!”  Hibird chirped, still comfortably settled on the nest of Tsuna’s hair. He sounded so disturbingly delighted about it. 

Rinato gave the yellow bird an odd glance, then looked down at the black and white square checkered tiles, each one exactly one foot long and one foot wide. 

“That doesn’t seem so bad.  Tedious, but not really terrible.”

“…”

Hibari was suspiciously quiet.  Let it not be said that Rin couldn’t read between the lines.

“I’ll have some other friends design the new floor.”

“Pineapple herbivores!  Pineapple herbivores!  Pretty picture!”

Kyoya’s eye twitched.  He knew exactly who Tsuna would call and having to following _his_ plans under _his_ taunting orders would be a great punishment indeed.  Worst of all, Tsunayoshi could easily come up with something far _far_ worse if he protested.

“That’s right Hibird.  It’ll be something lovely.  They’re both very good when it comes to artistic matters.”  Tsuna continued.  “It’ll be a marvel to look at.  Mukuro can create a wonderful picture, but Chrome is the one who enhances it with all the subtle touches.”

A marvel.  Right.  And made of a couple million little tiles to show it.  A couple million little tiles that would all have to be glued down by hand before being grouted.  Just to be sure…

“And how are you going to be able to enforce this?” 

Tsuna prodded one of the meat patties and then pressed his spatula down on it.  The hamburger steak sizzled and hissed loudly and Crazy-Tsuna didn’t have to say a word. 

It looked amazing and smelled just as good.  Rin tried not to drool.  If Crazy-Tsuna’s crazy coffee making skills extended to crazy cooking skills as well…

“Tasty.  Delicious.  **Yummy~.  Yummy~.** ”  If there was any question as to who was Hibird’s master it would have been answered by the way the bird managed to smirk just like Hibari despite lacking the facial features needed to do so. 

“Do you have any more Butterfly Broaches?”

“Shameless aren’t you.”  Tsuna murmured in good humor as he disentangled himself from the teen to slide the finished steaks onto plates.

“Shameless~.  Shameless~.”  Then, just for the hell of it, Hibird repeated it in English.  **_“Shameless~!  Shameless~!”_** At the table, Rein and Ren were snickering.

“After lunch.  If you eat too many cookies now, you’ll spoil your appetite.”

“You’re like a perfect housewife aren’t you.  Are you sure you aren’t actually a woman?”

Tsuna snorted.

“I think ninety-five percent of Namimori can personally testify otherwise.”

Kyoya was still sulking and glaring invisible lasers of mistrust, annoyance, and anger at Rinato, but he was still seated, so Tsuna counted that as a win as he placed the dishes on the table.

“Hoh?  I’m sensing an interesting story here.”

“Not really.”

Tsuna made sure not to look at the teenager as he nonchalantly dropped the next tidbit.

“I just go streaking every now and then.”

The silence that could only come from those around him being struck speechless.  Even Rein and Ren were staring at him in surprise. 

Rin sunk into an empty chair and turned his gaze to Kyoya.

“That isn’t disruptive to your precious order?”

Hibari hummed as he took a bite of his hamburger steak, his mood finally taking a turn for the better.

“It is far more disruptive to attempt to stop him.  Better to let nature run its course.”

“Streaker Tsuna! Streaker Tsuna!” 

By now the Maggiores were getting used to the high-pitched flying puffball.  If nothing else, he was highly entertaining.

Rin turned back to Tsuna and said with a completely earnest face.

“You must have a fabulous ass...among other things.”

It was such a Mukuro-like sentence that Kyoya instinctively attempted to stab out Rin’s eyes with his fork.  Tsuna didn’t stop him, but he did move their plates out of the way when Rinato began to retaliate.

He gave them exactly three minutes and took the opportunity to wipe a smudge of sauce off Ren’s cheek with a napkin, ladle more vegetable stir fry onto Rein’s plate and refill Hibird’s dish with coconut milk.

Then he sipped at his own coconut milk, set his glass down with a *thunk* and patiently smiled at the fork fencing duo.  Hibari sat back down and Tsuna handed his plate back, then Rinato’s when he did the same.  Rin was starting to feel wary of that smile.  It was even more dangerous than Reborn’s because he wasn’t feeling threatened at all even though there was a clear and obvious one right in front of him.

“I’m starting to think that the real carnivore here isn’t actually Kyo-chan.”

“According to Kyoya, I’m too herbivorous to be a carnivore, but too carnivorous to be an herbivore.”

“Then doesn’t that make Crazy-Tsuna an omnivore?” asked Ren.

“A small animal.”  Hibari corrected.  “Tsunayoshi-sensei is a small animal.”

Tsuna shrugged at their questioning looks.

“Apparently, I exist outside of the realm of standard classification, so I’m just an animal.” 

“A small animal.” Hibari insisted. 

“Small animal! Small animal!” Hibird repeated hopping up and down in agreement.

“A small animal.” Tsuna amended. 

Small.  And deceivingly weak with power that defied explanation.  Yeah.  Rin could see why Hibari would call his former English tutor that.  Kyo-chan still even referred to him as Tsunayoshi-sensei too.  Why?  He didn’t understand the Japanese culture all that well, but he was pretty sure that you didn’t call ordinary tutors that.  Was it because Crazy-Tsuna was also a writer? 

Whatever the reason, it was a title of deep respect and familiarity and maybe even love.  Even if Hibari called the teachers at school ‘sensei’ as well, none of them got even a tenth of the admiration and affection that Crazy-Tsuna did.  There was some serious history between them that he wasn’t privy too at the moment.

Rin really wanted to pit himself against Crazy-Tsuna now, but the free food and the free drinks and the free babysitting service...

Reborn was busy.  So busy that he had been spending the last two weeks in a hotel across town trying to untangle the mess of a company that his old friend had hired him for.  He didn’t have time for them at right now and Rein and Ren, especially Ren, needed someone to be with them.  Rinato couldn’t watch them at every moment.  Crazy-Tsuna was too valuable to destroy even just for fun.  And he had a sneaking suspicion that he would fail at it too.  Badly.

No. What Rin wanted…what he really wanted was to see Crazy-Tsuna take on Reborn. 

Rein’s eyes crinkled just the slightest and Ren hid a grin under the action of drinking from his cup.  Alright.  He was on board with their plan, whatever it was.

Hibari stabbed a piece of stir fried broccoli and placed it in his mouth. 

He hadn’t missed any of that exchange.  It was about to get noisy and there would be so much crowding and disturbances that he would have to endure.  How troublesome. 

Carnivores the entire Maggiore family may be, but they were still severely underestimating just how far out of their depth they were compared to Sawada Tsunayoshi.

He took in his former teacher’s relaxed form and watched as the brunet continued to chat amicably with his new neighbors, taking their teasing will patience and good humor.  As if he was one of them.

Even now, Tsunayoshi-sensei’s incredible intuition was probably sorting and dissecting their unspoken plots without ever alerting the guilty party to the fact that he was on to their plans.

Truly a small animal.  There was a reason Kyoya, independent as he was, actually wouldn’t mind working for Sawada Tsunayoshi.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Decided to split this chapter because it was getting long. The next one will involve the rest of Rinato's first day with Tsuna and the Maggiore siblings meetings with some other over protective guardians.
> 
> OC Profiles:
> 
> Yoshi-kun – A pink and silver automatic drip coffee maker gifted to Tsuna by a friend he made in Shibuya, a boy named Yoshiya Kiryu who prefers to go by nickname Joshua. While rather friendly and easy to use, Yoshi-kun seems to only make excellent coffee for Tsuna. He has the most sentience out of all of Tsuna's appliances. It doesn't surprise Tsuna as much as it should considering how mysterious Joshua tends to be.
> 
> Shii-chan - A moka pot only big enough to prepare a single cup of espresso. For some odd reason, whenever Tsuna has on bunny ears, Shii-chan seems to disappear from her usual spot only to be found in a dark enclosed environment, not unlike a rabbit in its burrow.
> 
> Khan-kun - An electric milk frother. When there isn't demand for Tsuna to use the big espresso machines that come with their own steam wands, Khan-kun is used to froth milk. If Khan-kun isn't used for a while, he'll slowly make his way behind larger countertop appliances to hide from view.
> 
> If you haven't heard the Fruit Salad song by The Wiggles, youtube it right now. Then imagine a younger Hibari and Hibird singing along in heavily accented English.

**Author's Note:**

> Also posted here
> 
> https://www.fanfiction.net/s/9178404/1/Story-of-an-Author


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